#because it's like he's being treated the same way he treated shelly for years so its kind of payback

[catinfroghat]

Windom and Leo have some weird thing going on in that wood cabin sorry to say

[gladiatorcunt]

- DIRT IN CHAINS | X.

i can’t wait for the nights with you, i imagine the things we’ll do

cw: kinktober prompt (feet), semi crack treated seriously (he just comes back and says footjob. now.), pseudo incest (step brother & step sister), no shelly or chris 💀, set in the 90’s with brandon lee’s eric, small-ish age gap (reader’s in her early 20’s), fem ballerina!reader, random kurt cobain crush mention, implied inappropriate behavior when reader was 18 and after (nothing explicit but it could be seen as done with certain intent), attempted non con mention (not involving eric or reader)

please do not repost, translate, or feed this work to ai

kinktober 2024

Body of my body, flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone.

If you serve a chunk of still bleeding meat to a gruesome stray dog, then that is love. If you toss a coin to a crow with a glint in its beady eyes, that too is love. Even when you scoff and grumble at the perceived inconvenience and continue your jaunt down the muddy alleyway. You are assuring an animal that you believe it deserves to have its hunger sated and tended to like a toothache. don’t be surprised when gangrene sets in around your ankles and wrists, bracelets made of red jade. They bite for the same reason that you sharpen their teeth and beaks with roadkill and gemstones. It is life’s greatest gift to ever be well fed, such neglect can open a void from which there is no escape. If only your heart could plug up the hole.

The most painful sentences in existence are hypotheticals that start with if. That's why this will be nothing of the sort, hunting season will be successful.

Your step brother Eric was shot about a month ago the night before halloween, and you’re coping by robotically moving through life as if it couldn’t happen to you too. It’s all too easy to succumb to the panic and the grief but you’ve never been wired that way, it’s safer for you to retreat into a cocoon of numbness.

You don’t want to think about where the woman he saved from being raped is, as happy as you are that she’s okay. Knowing any of that would only remind you of the knife Eric got thrown into his back before he was thrown from her apartment window. He lived in the same building and like the good guy your step brother was at heart, burst in the room with the best intentions.

His good deed got him killed, and all you’ve done is play his music on repeat as you rot in your bed. He’d want you to continue your ballet career, hell, he showed up to your recitals and performances more than your own mother. You always ignored how his presence made you feel simultaneously relaxed and confident but also so stressed you’d be worried about pissing yourself on the stage.

Wide smiles and long dark hair that glistened in the theater’s warm lightning, he would always be the one to stand up and whistle first.

Eric’s favorite ballet was your ballet company’s Swan Lake. He kept a picture of you as Odette in one of the pockets of his leather jacket.

Your parents had only been married 4 years, but you’ve changed a lot from the starry eyed 18 year old that mooned over your older step brother and tripped over your pointe shoes.

Your dad started teaching you how to play guitar before he left, when you were 5 and your chubby hands plucked at the wrong strings. Eric wouldn’t leave you alone when you told him the story, and spent an entire weekend getting you caught up on your missed lessons until you both had a swarm of blisters on your fingers.

Now you’ll never see him again, never get caught in the rain when you’ve begged him to drive you home and wish you could tuck a strand of his wet hair behind ear, never hump your pillow and muffle your sounds into your balled up fists because he’s staying in the next room and you have to be quiet.

You’ll never see him with his band again, caught in that weird space between a groupie and a supportive family member. He liked to embarrass you, make big shows out of looking directly at you and coming to the edge of the stage to poke your cheek. He’d ruffle your hair and your cheeks would be so hot, one wrong burst of electricity from the wires attached to their instruments and you’d go up in flames.

You never told your mom but you always wanted a brother, you should’ve known you weren’t gonna have him for very long.

Hangman’s Joke. God, you wish.

“Hey, peach, ya miss me?”

Hand on your heart you think you’re dreaming at first, but you’ve never really had any dreams where Eric was front and center. He haunts all your other ones, regular strange ones where you’re running around department stores and fucking Kurt Cobain but someintes he turns into your step brother, sometimes you fuck them both.

You shoot up in bed, the straps of your lavender silk nightie slip down your shoulders so you pull them back. It’s the middle of the night, and your vision is blurry, but when your eyes focus properly you see him standing in front of your bed.

It’s Eric, your brother, you don’t even care if there was a gas leak overnight that’s got you fucked up or if this reslly is a dream. You can’t pretend to be fine anymore if he’s right here in front of you, suddenly there’s an umbrella over your head in the pouring rain again.

“Eric, oh my god, what the fuck! How are you even- I mean- How the fuck are you alive?”

He sighs, tonguing his cheek and shaking his head. “I’ll tell you all about it later, I promise, ‘m tired, peach. Missed my girl, didn’t she miss me?”

It’s a little cruel because of course you have, but the dulcet tones lull you into nodding. You don’t want to cry, and you’re scared to reach out to touch him because of the chance that he might disappear. Eric’s haunted eyes soften, and he intertwines his bizarrely muddy fingers with yours. There’s warmth, and maybe it’s just your hummingbird heart but you feel a soft rhythmic thumping under his skin.

It’s different, slow as molasses, more like the chiming of a grandfather clock. But Jesus fucking Christ he’s real.

Your sham of a facade shatters as you bring your joined hands down to your breasts, forcing his knuckles to press into your sternum.

Eric pushes you back down on the bed, his knees dig into the mattress on either side of your hips. His stare is intense, dark and enticing as he reaches down to curl his hand around your calves.

“I used to be obsessed with uh, vampires, ain’t that a bitch?” He chuckles, massaging your ankles and staring off into space. “All that mysticism and unimaginable power and all I could focus on was the way they talked about their cravings. How they get hunger pangs like a normal fuckin’ and it’s bearable until it’s not, it consumes them like they’re boilin’ from the inside out.”

You suck in a breath, Eric’s eyes flick over to you immediately.

“Then I look at you and i’m right back in rehab, toes curlin’ at the thought of getting high again. I think I know how those bloodsuckers feel.”

“Eric- Don’t say that.” Your heart seizes up, but you keep yourself from falling off the ledge.

He kisses your ankle, his black lipstick leaving a stain as he leaves a trail of carnage up to your toes. His lips split wide on a fox’s smile, slipping his tongue in the crease between your toes and sucking each one clean, almost like he’s trying to eat your flesh off the bone. He nuzzles his nose into the sole and inhales deeply, taking in the dirt you didn’t wash off in the shower, the plastic hospital smell from your bath mat, your cherry almond scented body wash.

“Yes, all i fuckin’ need, right here.” He whispers, staring at you dead in your eyes.

He flicks his tongue out to taste the high arch of your foot as his hand caresses your still bruised toes. But they’re faded, you quit ballet a long time ago.

“You have pretty feet, y’know that? Always liked helping you lace up your slippers.” Eric laughs “You’d get so fussy about me doin’ them properly but you’d kiss my cheek after, all sweet on me.”

He lavishes every inch of both your feet with his tongue in broad strokes, making out with your toes because he can’t resist sucking them into his mouth one more time.

You moan, fisting your hands in your nightie, your step brother’s back from the afterlife apparently and the first thing he wants to do is get a footjob from his step sister.

Eric tucks his hair behind his ears so he doesn’t have to bother with it for right now, you can tell that this is like one of those moments on stage, he wants your full attention.

He’ll always have it.

You’re the one that pulls your feet out of his grip to slide them down to his crotch. You keep eye contact as you massage his clothed bulge with your toes, rubbing your heel into his balls and applying light pressure here and there.

You blink up at him, too innocent and too worn down by life already all at the same time, “Like that, big brother? Does that feel good?”

Eric grunts, wrapping his hands back around your ankles and pushing your feet further onto his cock.

“Yeah, peach, feels so fuckin’ good, holy shit. Just like that, keep doin’ me like that, baby.”

You bite your lip, nearly tearing through the skin in your efforts to make your newly risen step brother jizz in his ripped jeans. You wish you had psychic powers and had the foresight to know he was coming over, you would’ve put on those socks with the frilly edges and a red rose stitched on the white fabric.

But he’s so worked up from this already, he’s breathing heavily and rocking his hips forward to hump your feet. He’s grinding his teeth together, already so close to unraveling from how much of a little tease you’re being.

You hum and turn your right foot to ghost the edge of your toenail around the tip of his cock. He groans as he twitches and a bead of pre seeps through his clothes, you can trace the outline of his length so clearly you know he’s not wearing any underwear.

The look in his crazed eyes reminds you of all the times he’d take you to the attic of his loft, making up scary stories and playing guitar with you. When you turned 21 he surprised you with a cheesy golden heart shaped locket, with a picture of you two at your parent’s wedding, joking about how awkward you look with each other there. Eric’s penguin style suit and your agitated face that’s partially covered by gaudy turquoise puffy cap sleeves.

He chuckled and said that every time you look at it, you’ll feel nothing but happiness for what those two losers are about to experience.

Part of that experience is you curling your feet around his clothed cock while giving him just enough of a view of your hairy pussy, you forgot to put a pad on so there’s some blood trickling out of you that Eric is just so utterly enraptured by.

His groans are death rattles now, long and pain stricken, at some point he stops humping your feet and lets you worship him like this. Eric kneeling above you, drooling deep in the back of his throat at the sight of his baby sister caressing his painfully hard dick with her cute dancer’s feet.

Your mind is filled with all the pretty shoes you can put on and do this again, you just got a new camera as an early birthday present too.

“You can come if you promise not to leave again, Eric, I'll hunt you down and kill you myself this time.” You promise, digging the ball of your feet into his perineum.

“I crawled out of the earth back to you, didn’t I? Couldn’t let my sweet peach perform alone, she gets stage fright.”

He comes in his pants and you continue to gingerly move your feet along his length, soaking up the cum that wets your toes like a sunflower does sunlight at golden hour.

[kestalsblog]

I have some Stanman headcanons for you! Although, this is more going to be me just yapping about it. Lmao sorry. 🙈

1.) Stan is the only person Eric has ever had actual romantic feelings for. All other relationships he's been in have been transactional for him (i.e. what can he get out of this relationship?), but Stan is different. He GENUINELY cares about him and loves him.

2.) Stan would absolutely confess first, and when he does...OOHH BOY. Eric is in a state of pure shock. He doesn't believe it whatsoever, but it's HAPPENING. He's always felt as if Stan was something that was unobtainable. He always thought Stan was way out of his league (poor boy has low self esteem). My goodness, though, he is over the moon when he finally realizes that his love isn't one sided. 🫶

3.) The reason Eric hates Wendy so much is purely because of jealousy. He feels as if Wendy doesn't deserve Stan and doesn't treat him right. Arguably, it could be why he hates Kyle too. Lmao

4.) Eric has been in love with Stan since he remembers being able to feel that way, but Stan's feelings came a little later; shortly after moving to the farm. Eric was the only one who actively visited Stan, and it's a gesture that Stan grew to love him for. I mean, come on, Eric Cartman can force his mom to drive him to see Stan but Kyle, Stan's B.F.F., can't do the same?

The more time they spent alone together, the more Eric let down his walls, which allowed Stan to see a much softer side of his friend. They realized they had a lot more in common than they thought previously and they opened up to each other about things they've never talked about before. That trust and communication is what made Stan develop feelings.

5.) Eric LOVES to show off Stan. He's very proud of having such a beautiful boy on his arm 💕

6.) Eric is PROTECTIVE. If you make Stan cry or hurt him in any way, run. Lock your doors. Leave town.

7.) Shortly after going public together, people constantly asked Stan "why Cartman? What do you see in him?" It pisses him off and he gets defensive, which Eric finds hot af.

8.) This one is obvious. Stan is a bottom, Eric is a top. Lolol

9.) When Eric held Shelly's baby, it did something to Stan. He never thought he was capable of baby fever, but seeing his big scary boyfriend carefully hold a baby made him weak in the knees 🩵

10.) Stan and Eric both have inside jokes and it drives Kyle nuts. He hates it. Mainly because he can't tell if the jokes are at his expense or not (they're not) 😂 They're also scarily telepathic. They know what the other one is thinking and can finish each other's sentences.

Overall, their relationship is extremely healthy. They never fight or argue. The most they'll do is bicker, but it's all with smiles and laughs. Nobody ever believed their relationship would work, and many didn't understand why on Earth they would be together, but they proved everyone wrong. ❤️

I could go on and on about these two but I hope you like my ultra long Stanman babble 🫶

Ommggg 🙈🫶 This is so CUTE!! I'm going to respond to each one because our views of Stanman are so similar 🙈🤣

EDIT: wow, I wrote a ridiculous amount, so I put it below the read more 😳

I looooove this headcanon, and the show supports it! Eric shows SUCH a soft side for his Stan 🥺 I think that's the main thing that made me drift more from Kyman to Stanman. Like, the spice is good, but there needs to be a foundation of trust and support for that to work, and I see that happening more with Stan than with Kyle.

2. I love this too 🙈😍 Poor Eric longs for Stan for soooooo many years that he convinces himself it's never going to happen, and then one day BAM Stan hits him with the sweetest and most vulnerable love confession. Eric's just a mess after that 🥰 And pretty bad at missing the signs LOL.

3. Omg this actually got me to thinking about that episode where Wendy crushes on Cartman and Stan's in disbelief. Like, I wonder if that went on, maybe the jealousy would transfer from Cartman to Wendy. Like he realizes he's upset not because it's Wendy, but because someone else likes Eric 🙈🤭

4. I always headcanon as Kyle just going away some day because he feels like he has the most successful future ahead of him (not that Stan isn't smart, but he has a lot against him). I think even after the farm, as they're growing toward college and afterward - Stan would learn to see more connections to Cartman apart from Kyle. I also am 100% convinced Eric will mature and become a better person no matter what anyone says 😤

5. I LOVVVEE this. 🥰 One of my favorite tropes tbh, someone obsessed with the other's beauty. I kinda want a whole fic like this where he just shows Stan off 😍🙈 Stan would be shy about it though.

6. You do NOT want to be on Eric's bad side. The person who hurts Stan will have a creative death for sure LOL. The only thing that would hold him back, I think, is Stan not wanting to make a scene. (Gonna admit too I'm just obsessed with chronic crying Stan lol)

7. Yesss! 🙌 Even so many fanfic readers kind of LOL at the idea of one of the other characters choosing Cartman, but like ... the guy is super talented and intelligent and just needs time to work through his issues to become better? Stan will help him do that.

8. There is literally NO argument here 🙈🔥 I couldn't write them switched because I can't imagine it ANY other way.

9. I never even thought of this, but that is SO cute 🥺 I can see Stan adding and adding animals to their family until one day Eric is like, "Uhh, are you trying to send me a message here?" 🍼 (I actually think Eric could be a great dad one day. Like anyone who messes with his kid will die 1,000 deaths. He's a good dad in Post Covid!)

10. I think Kyle would be jealous at first 🤣 He's like "how the hell did this happen??" But he does love his friends, so he'll come around and be happy for them later on, just always a little judgmental.

I just typed FOREVER LOL! 🥰🤭🙈 This was a lot of fun to read, so thank you!! I love receiving asks like this, so anyone always feel welcome🥰

As I was typing the tags, I accidentally wrote "Stan Cartman" 🥺💜

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

Nathan Shelly I love you, you have never done anything wrong in your life boo never! people making him into a villain just because he didn’t wanna be in environment where he was treated like shit and bullied for years by rich spoiled fotballer like be for real but Jamie who y’all forgave like that and whom y’all love now bc he was nice for 1 season and whom y’all want to be gay all is sudden is forgiven and loved by the fandom I wonder why? but Nate isn’t but is made to be the villain bc he left a horrible bullying toxic privileged spoiled people environment that didn’t appreciate or acknowledge him and Colin the rest get to treat him like shit Colin literally was worse “did I stutter kitman” at least Jamie was trash to eveyone not just Nate sure him more but still Colin had no reason to be that horrible to Nate and now bc one has horrible garbage dad and the other is yt twink loser they get a pass? not on my watch never on my watch is a boring yt twink whos whole story is he’s a twink ever gonna or the hag losers who relate to him gonna make my boy feel like the villain maybe your loser twink shouldnt act like hes majo dude by being a horrible person first if I’m supposed to care about him

I’m sorry but nah I like Colin now but the way he was treating Nate in season 1 bullying and the only reason he apologized was bc the real majo dude he imitated when he was bullying Nate told him to! Fcvk that Colin the way y’all stand up for or have amnesia when your boring yt meow yt fav does something or forgive him in heartbeat bc he has a sad backstory bad dad or he’s just a bland basic twink but will vilify demonize a poc character for giving back just small part of what they gave him is insane not surprising tho same old shit in fandoms vilifying poc but find excuses or puts your yt meow meow twink or broken boy on pedestal never giving them the same treatment vilfy dehumanize the poc but have so much compassion understand feel for empathize and have excuses for the yt character! the double standard hypocrisy of it all I’m so mf tired even tho its the same bull shit in every fandom I’m tired!y’all expect so much from poc characters have such high expectations for y’all to even like care or acknowledge them as humans they can never do say anything wrong especially never to ur yt fav def never to a yt twink!

[caralara]

Lizzo is a Brandon Creed client. She’s not “being left behind” there’s zero chances of that. Brandon Creed has been her manager the entire time she’s been in the spotlight and she has no connection to Full Stop aside from him.

Most likely scenario, she’s being dropped by Brandon altogether.

Cardi was never managed by Brandon. She joined Full Stop, not Brandon’s roster. And Cardi is just being Cardi. Her latest controversy is actually tame for what she usually gets herself into ���

None of the artists that are leaving with Brandon are big names. Troye Sivan, Charli XCX, Orville Peck, and Tame Impala are recognizable names that have never had widespread success. The other names are literally nobodies, except Mark Ronson who’s mostly a producer anyway.

Full Stop has Harry, John Mayer, Fleetwood Mac, Eagles, Bon Jovi, Gwen Stefani, Christina Aguilera, Saweetie, Cardi, just to name a few. They’re one of the top management companies, only rivaled by Scooter Braun. Management companies aren’t like labels, they don’t usually have long high profile rosters.

A lot of top artists have individual managers (Taylor, Bruno Mars, Beyoncé). Go look at September Management, which manages Adele. It’s Adele and a bunch of nobodies (with all due respect).

Shelli Azoff and Lizzo’s exposes have nothing to do with Harry whatsoever, and they mean literally zilch in terms of his own character. We all need to realize that these people have different façades for different categories of humans. Lizzo would’ve never shown her true colors to her industry friends. She would only treat her employees as second class citizens.

And Shelli wouldn’t want ANYONE to know the way she treated her staff. I doubt anyone outside of Irving and the woman herself were aware. Some people are monsters behind the scenes.

Making what Shelli or Lizzo did about our favorite artist is pretty demeaning to the victims of those people. If the focus of what Lizzo and Shelli did is on “oh they’re people Harry Styles knows/hangs out with” then it’s not on the victims or their stories.

You said there’s a difference between private friends and industry friends and I agree. I think industry friends are whatever. Very much not a reflection of one’s character. I actually worry a lot more about Nizam Calvin and even Oli still being in Louis’ inner circle, and the access they have to fans because of their proximity to him, given the way they’ve behaved in the past.

But I still wouldn’t judge Louis for their characters because he’s known them since he was 15 years old and it’s bound to be difficult to make genuine friends in an industry like this one. It’s the same pass I give Harry about James and Ben, considering context.

Now, if Harry were to stand by Shelli or Lizzo now, I would question his character. But otherwise I don’t judge either of them for their friendships. And I refuse to make serious stuff about my white men.

hi anon, thank you for this very insightful, well researched and thoughtful message that I’m very happy to share

With only one eye on tumblr and the other on my own life and very little energy left to research a lot at the moment these are important so thank you very much for your input, it’s all very well said and I agree with you in all points

[niksixx]

Number 73

~Part 2!!! Read Part 1 first please!!!~ 

Requested: By many of you 

Pairing: Axl Rose x Female Reader 

Description: A continuation of part 1!! This fic takes place over the course of about two months. (It’s most likely unrealistic, but when is fanfiction ever real? This also has 2,634 words!!!! I got so carried away lmao ENJOY.) 

Warning: Some cursing and mentions of sex (no smut...yet)

A/N: R E B L O G :) 

*GIF is NOT mine. Found it on Google, so credit goes to the owner!* 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I knew he was an asshole, but fuck that’s cold.”

Nodding at your best friend, you bend down to take a sip of your lukewarm coffee, shrugging. It’s been two days since you last saw Axl. The douchebag was all you could think about; Not even the sex you’d had.

You couldn’t fully place the blame on him. You were naive to think you’d mean anything to him, changing anything between the two of you. Like he said, you were just number seventy-three.

“Was it good at least?”

You grin, fighting the urge to spill all the details. “Hate sex is always good, Y/B/F, but hate sex with Axl? Unbeatable.”

She chuckles. “How many girls do you think he’s fucked since you?”

You think for a moment. “Well, I was seventy-three, so I’d say he’s probably at about seventy-eight now. I’m not mad that he has a lot of sex. I’m pissed off that I let myself be used by a man that doesn’t care about me. I wish other girls could see that, too.”

Commitment wasn’t in Axl’s vocabulary. He simply couldn’t bring himself to be loyal. In the years that you’d known the Guns N’ Roses singer, he’d never been in a relationship. Girls were simply his playthings. They served no purpose to him other than pleasure.

Still, even with his mood swings and deplorable attitude, you couldn’t deny your attraction. But you’d think twice about letting the redhead anywhere near you or your body. You wouldn’t be vulnerable. Not again.

On the way home to your house, you drop off Y/B/F. Before she exits the car, she turns to you, the corners of her mouth raised in a smirk. “So what are you going to do about it?”

“About what?” You ask, fixing your sunglasses in the rearview mirror.

She gives you a look. “Duh, about Axl. He humiliated you. He fucked you and threw you aside like you were nothing. If I were you, I’d give him a taste of his own medicine.”

You drum your fingers on the steering wheel, gears turning in your head. She had a point. “What, like, I should get even?”

Y/B/F shakes her head, eyes wild, and smiles wide. “Oh no, honey. You’re not just going to get even. You’re going to beat him at his own damn game.”

~~~

“Y/N?” Steven yawns, scratching his head as you push past him into the GNR apartment. Glass bottles and cigarettes litter the floor from last night’s party, and the place reeks of alcohol, smoke, and sweat. “What are you doing here?” He follows your eyes to the floor, wincing. “Sorry, I actually just woke up. Axl and Duff started cleaning but they went out to get pizza for lunch.”

“That’s actually perfect,” You’ve been over the apartment plenty of times before, almost as if it’s your own. The boys needed to find their own respective places, though, as four out of the five were ready to settle down. Grabbing a trash bag, you help Steven clean up the rest of the mess. “Look, I need your help. I trust you the most.”

Steven snickers. “Oh, no. Do you know who you’re talking to? I’m not the most reliable.”

“Maybe not,” you say, hands firm on your hips. “But I trust you to keep your mouth shut.”

Steven groans, taking a deep breath before situating himself on the couch. He waves his hand, “Proceed.”

“You all know Axl and I can’t stand each other,” Steven laughs heartily and you shoot him a hard look. “And after a long few days of thinking, I decided that what I hate, even more than Axl, is being used.”

“Yeah, he told me about your little uh…” He makes a face. “I know you had sex, let’s put it that way. You were number seventy-three, he wrote it down.”

“I’m sure I was the topic of--wait,” You furrow your brows, unsure if you’d heard him correctly. “Did you say he wrote it down?”

Steven nods. “Of course he wrote it down. How else would he keep track of all the girls he’s fucked? All the names are in a little brown book under his bed.” Steven’s eyes go wide, realizing his mistake. “I definitely shouldn’t have said that.”

Before Steven can react, you run down the hall and into Axl’s room, rummaging under his bed before your fingers graze a leather cover. You pull it out and flip to the most recent page, and there scribbled in black ink is your name, along with seven other girls’ names from the previous weekend.

“Son of a bitch,” you whisper, thumbing through the other pages. “Shelly Neilson, Diana Fox, Cait Burke, Jade Nichols, Ruby Thompson…”

“Wait a minute,” Steven says, peering over your shoulder. His jaw clenches as he rereads the last name. “Ruby Thompson?”

“What? She an ex or something?” You ask, skimming the first few pages, eyes bulging at the dates. “This book goes back seven years ago. Jesus, Axl.”

You feel Steven’s body tense beside you. You turn, and his face is stone-like. “Ruby Thompson is my goddamn cousin.” Mouth agape, you watch as Steven runs a hand over his face. “That fucking bastard. No wonder he never let any of us see this book.”

“Uh, what’s going on?”

You turn toward the doorway where Slash and his wife stand, eyeing you suspiciously. You give Steven a sympathetic look before turning back toward the door. “I need to find a way to get back at Axl for treating me like shit.”

“Look, I’m not defending him,” Slash begins, earning a warning look from his wife. “But you knew his track record and you still let him fuck you?”

“Okay, technically, because I rode him, I fucked him,” Slash and Steven snicker. “And yes, it was stupid, I realize that now. Having sex with him wasn’t going to fix any animosity between us. But he knows me personally, and he fucking hurt me. I won’t let him get away with it. Not this time.”

“So what’s your plan?” asks Steven.

“That’s why I came here,” you sigh, clutching the book to your chest. “I need your help.”

Slash thinks for a moment. “What does Axl hate more than anything in the world?”

Steven chuckles, shoving his hands in his pockets. “A lot of things. Competition. Second place. Being used,” Steven shoots you a wink. “And Y/N.”

“Exactly. Axl prides himself on having the most sex out of his whole friend group, right?,” Slash says, and his wife grins wickedly when she catches on.

“If we can keep Axl from having sex for a few weeks, that will give you a chance to reach his body count. He hates when others are good at something he’s good at. ” She says. Slash offers an impressive look. “Y/N, what’s your count?”

Your face flushes, and the two men glance at you expectantly. “Seventeen.”

Steven grimaces. “Seriously? We’re going to need at least a month, maybe more.”

“Hey,” Steven cowers when Slash’s wife pins him with a look. “In this house, we don’t shame women for liking sex and having sex just as much as men do. And compared to some men, seventeen is nothing.”

You send her a smile as a thank you. She nods back, grinning proudly.

“Alright, look,” Steven says, lips curling back in a quick smile. “I have three cousins who would love to help you get back at Axl. He crashed the first one’s car, stole money from the second, and slept with the third’s girlfriend. Come to think of it, she might actually be in here,” Steven reads through the book until he stops on a name. “Yep. Here she is. Misty Evans,” he snaps the book closed. “That motherfucker.”

“I have a brother you can use,” Slash’s wife grins. “And he has a lot of friends.” She wiggles her eyebrows excitedly.

“Okay, okay, hold on,” Slash holds up his hands. “It’s a good plan and all, but how in the hell are we going to stop Axl from having sex?”

~~~

73.

For two months, he was stuck at number 73.

Which was, by far, the best sex of his life.

And it just so happens it was with the person he hated most in the world.

Axl couldn’t get it out of his head. The way your eyes looked him up and down, daring him to leave and begging him to stay at the same time. Your soft lips that he was desperate to kiss again and feel on his skin. The breathy moans that were music to his ears. He’d be breaking his rule if he slept with you again, but Axl’s craving for your body had him considering wiping out the rule altogether.

His attempts to get you off his mind continued to fail as more and more women began to reject his advances. One minute he’d strike up a conversation, and the girls would be all for it, but as he returned from the bathroom or from a quick smoke break or the bar with another drink, they avoided him. Shot him dirty looks. Pretended they weren’t just all over him a few minutes prior. He didn’t understand, and it was driving him crazy.

Little does he know, whenever he leaves, you take his place, quickly showing the girls Axl’s book that hides in your purse, before urging them to stay away. So far, every girl that he’s tried to woo into his bed has shunned him. Many of the girls recognize their own friends in Axl’s book, and they promise you to stay away from him. It was dirty, it was evil, but no one ever wins by playing a fair game.

While he was constantly facing rejection, you were thriving. Axl noticed that whenever you came out with the group, men flocked to you instantly, more than they had before.  You’d barely said three words to him since the night you’d slept together, and hadn’t even looked him in the eye.

He’d buy you drinks, only for you to mutter a quick thanks without returning the favor. Despite not being the best dancer, he’d offer you his hand at the clubs, only to be met with laughter from his bandmates as you accepted another man’s offer. And what blew his mind? Many of the guys looked...familiar.

From his seat at the booth, Axl could see a man shamelessly flirting with you at the bar. He grit his teeth, hand clenching around the bottle in front of him.

“Uh, dude?” Duff signals to the beer. “If you want to practice your chokehold, I’m sure there are plenty of chicks in here who would be more than willing to help you out, if you know what I mean.”

Axl’s eyes never left you. “What the hell is going on with Y/N?”

“What do you mean?” Steven asks innocently, shooting Slash a sly grin. “She’s having a drink at the bar.”

Axl turns to Steven, narrowing his eyes. “I can see that, you dumbass. I mean, why the hell hasn’t she spoken to me?”

“The hell do you care?” Izzy answers, taking a swig of his tequila. “You hate each other anyway.”

“I just don’t think I’ve ever seen her so...relaxed.” Axl remarks, bringing his beer to his lips.

“I mean, I’d be too if I was having as much sex as she was,” Slash grins, dropping a teasing wink in his wife’s direction.

Axl pauses, brows drawn together. “What the fuck do you mean?”

Hesitantly, Slash’s wife clears her throat, chiming into the conversation for the first time that night. “Alright, look, this does not leave the table, hear me?” When everyone nods, she continues. “I promised I’d keep this to myself, but Y/N’s had sex with twenty guys in the past five days.”

Axl’s eyes nearly roll out of his head when the table laughs. He seems to have missed what was funny.

“No shit!” Duff laughs, clapping his hands together.

“That’s fucking impressive,” Izzy smirks.

“So what does that bring her count to total?” Steven asks, fully aware of Axl’s bright red face. He laughs to himself. The singer was hopeless, making it way too easy for the group to fuck with him.

“Seventy bodies,” Slash’s wife cocks her head to the side. Something about her words, her gesture, is taunting. “How many did you say you had again, Axl?”

“Seventy-three,” he says through gritted teeth.

“Wait,” Izzy and Slash say together, “You haven’t fucked anyone since Y/N?”

“Dude, that was over two months ago,” Duff says in a teasing manner.

“It’s not like I haven’t fucking tried!” Axl exclaims, slamming his palm down on the table. He takes a deep breath, finding his composure, and lowers his voice. “I keep getting rejected and I don’t fucking know why.”

“Oh, the horror,” Izzy says, rolling his eyes. “All will be right in the world when Axl finds some random chick to bang.”

Slash and his wife snicker and share a look. Axl shakes his head. He senses something is wrong, but he can’t call anyone out without proof.

Something about you having almost the same amount of bodies as him didn’t sit right. No one in his life even came close. Then again, no one was so obsessed with sex like Axl was. No one was so open about their sex life.

Against his better judgment, Axl finds himself striding toward the bar, visibly irritated as the man next to you rests his palm right above your ass. Axl grabs the man’s wrist and pulls it from your body, pushing him away from you. He ignores the man’s protests, throws back the rest of whatever piss warm beer the dude had been drinking, flips him off, before turning back to you.

The shock on your face is evident. “There is something seriously wrong with you. What the hell, Axl?”

“Seventy bodies?” Axl says, voice condescending. “Some prostitutes don’t even have that many.”

Your blood boils and you swear to yourself you see red. The audacity of this man to shame you. “I see you’re still a dick. What the hell does it matter to you, huh? What’s your problem?”

“My problem?” Axl’s laugh is light, breathy, as he restrains himself from screaming. “My problem is that I haven’t fucked something in two months. I’m going fucking feral.”

“Seems like a you problem,” you retort, puckering your lips before taking a drink. Axl’s book suddenly feels heavy in your purse. You sneak a look to make sure the purse is properly zipped before glancing back to the fuming redhead. “What would you like me to do about it?”

It all comes out in a rush. “I don’t know! Suck my dick, ride me, do something!” Axl cringes when you giggle, face heating. Holy fucking desperate.

“Are you...is Axl Rose...begging?”

He throws his head back in annoyance. This wasn’t going as planned. “I--no. Fuck. Ignore that. Can’t we just go back to my place or something?”

“I thought you didn’t fuck the same girl twice?” You remind him of his words, and you can tell by his face he regrets saying them.

But he remains cool, standing up straight, all the while contradicting his previous statement. “I don’t.”

Finishing your drink, you set it to the side. Batting your lashes, you step forward, a mere centimeter apart from Axl’s face. His breath is raggedy, lips parted, and you see it coming. He leans forward to kiss you, but you’re too quick. Brushing your lips against his ear, palm flat against his chest, you utter the words as confidence floods your veins. “If you don’t want the same pussy twice, then what makes you think I want the same dick twice?”

[dusksmote]

Is there any background info you can give on characters in WTSAU?

Like any cool hc you give the characters?

okay i have SO MANY 😩 but i can’t say all the best ones until later cuz they involve SPOILERS

so i’ll try to say all the ones i can with the information given:

Style:

- Kyle’s had feelings for Stan since he realized he was gay, which was in middle school. When Stan came out as bi he told Kyle first, before Wendy, even though they were dating at the time. Kyle’s insecurities prevented from acting on his feelings even after they broke up.

- Wendy has pegged Stan in the past, but Kyle is the first guy Stan’s ever been with. Wendy has come around to support their relationship since the events of ETL chapter 4.

- Stan is always the first one to say ‘I love you’.

- Kyle was the last one in their big friend group to lose his virginity, but he has one of the highest sex drives of the guys. He and Stan switch off being top almost equally, but Kyle prefers to top and Stan prefers to bottom. they fuck daily.

- When they want to have a hard, passionate fuck Kyle tops. when they want to have slow, emotional sex Stan tops. Kyle has slight sadist tendencies (inflicts pain) and Stan has masochist tendencies (receives pain). Stan is especially into breathplay (choking, face sitting, crushing, etc.) and assplay. he’s the best ass eater (so call him a bottom feeder 😂) and Kyle’s superior in the blowjob department.

- Stan has hyperhidrosis, meaning he sweats more than the average person. this is why their rooms/the truck/anywhere they fuck smells so strong. there’s a few hints for this in ETL/WTSAU, he keeps antiperspirant in his locker and in the truck, he gets really sweaty whenever they have sex. Stan also has asthma and acne, which Kyle’s been helping him treat. Kyle loves popping his zits for him.

- Conversely, Kyle is super hygienic and always tries to keep himself clean and dry. when Sharon comes into Stan’s room in chapter 1 and describes the smell, the gym locker scent is Stan, the Old Spice is Kyle, and the ‘inside of a rubber balloon’ is their latex lubricant. 

- Everyone at school considers them the obnoxious, overly romantic couple. they hold hands, cuddle, kiss, and dirty talk in front of everyone. they think they can get away with it without people noticing but they’re chronically conspicuous and not stealthy. the working title for the fanfic was actually ‘Ain’t Slick’ for a while before it changed to What They Say About Us!

- they’re fucking devoted to each other and are exclusively monogamous. Stan is especially protective of Kyle and Kyle is fiercely possessive of Stan. 

- Kyle applied as a math major in his college applications, and will eventually get a PhD for logic and set theory. Stan’s a bio major and wants to go into physical therapy.

- Stan doesn’t smoke weed out of principle (because of his dad) so Kyle also doesn’t smoke in solidarity. 

- Kyle is a type 2 diabetic, and doesn’t need to always take insulin. his weight gain began with the World of Warcraft episode and was maintained instead of lost like in the show. his weight is a cyclical feedback loop of: genetics (mom’s side of the family), too much insulin (when using insulin therapy), and diet. this led to him developing lordosis (excessive weight warps his spine) so he didn’t grow as tall as he would have, and makes his weight appear more exaggerated. short stature, weight, and body image issues led to quitting basketball which in turn contributes more to his weight. this impacts his self-worth which leads to stress eating. his biggest fear is that he’ll never stop gaining weight and will end up as big or bigger than Cartman.

- Stan has gained a few pounds since he started dating Kyle, while Kyle has lost a few.

Cutters/Bunnyman/Kenrietta:

- Kenny is straight, but has voluntarily sucked dick before. he and henrietta have hooked up a few times in the past after running into each other at poetry slam events which Kenny takes Karen to. 

- Butters and Cartman are exclusively gay, and think girls are fucking gross. they’ve only every slept with each other.

- Kenny, Cartman, and Butters are all best friends and do pretty much everything together. even though Butters and Cartman are dating, Kenny never feels like a third wheel because they rarely act romantic in front of anyone (including him). however, when Style start dating and Cutters come out about their relationship, Kenny begins feeling like a fifth wheel.

- Butters lives almost entirely at Cartman’s house. His parents actually don’t mind because they enjoy not having him around. Liane is 100% the cool mom from mean girls who asks them if they want snacks or a condom. Sometimes all three of them crash at Kenny’s house for variety (or when he has to watch Karen because his mom is drinking/out of the house).

- Kenny wants to study psychology in college and become a family therapist or social worker. he’s taking a gap year to save money then going to community college. Cartman and Butters applied to the same schools and plan to stick together long-term.

- Butters and Cartman’s relationship started as experimenting with each other as their sexualities developed, and began after Cartman confided that he had sexual feelings for Kyle. Cartman and Butters have also developed genuine feelings for each other, and overtime their relationship transformed into what it is now. because of how their relationship started, they’re very open about any sexual feelings they have for other people and have a ‘hall pass’ for friends they’re allowed to fuck if given the chance, without it considered cheating.

- Butters is a huge gossip. he will promise to keep secrets and then immediately turn around and tell Cartman--which totally happened after Kyle said he thinks Stan has a crush on him in ETL chapter 2. Butters and Cartman keep nothing from each other, and the only secrets they won’t tell are the ones about each other. 

- Kenny is the easiest of the larger friend group to confide in, and keeps every secret he’s given. he’s known Cartman and Butters have been together since the beginning, about Cartman’s crush on Kyle, and Kyle’s crush on Stan. People naturally come to him for advice and to vent. The least likely person to confide in him is Kyle, who’s more likely to curl in on himself instead of expressing his feelings.

-SO much shit about Cartman and Butters’ relationship I can’t say yet because it comes up in the fic 😩 please ask me about these two again later when i can say more!!!

Creek:

- Tweek is a dom top and Craig’s his catamite. they try to get away with sex anywhere they can and have gotten very stealthy because of it. Tweek also has one of the highest sex drives of their friend group, and Craig will let him do whatever he wants anywhere, anytime. 

- Tweek is constantly high on stimulants (cocaine, meth, adderall, etc.) and Craig experiments with him in certain settings. this is what gives Tweek his boosted self-confidence and flippant attitude. 

- Pete Thelman (hair flip goth) is their coke dealer. Tweek trades him his ADHD meds for it, which Pete resells to posers. If Tweek doesn’t have enough to cover the cost he and Craig make up the rest by giving Pete sexual favors. sometimes they have threesomes for fun too.

- Tweek and Craig both think Kyle is hot and would fuck him given the chance. being open about this with each other makes them feel closer and strengthens their relationship. they have roleplayed as Stan and Kyle in bed before while high out of their minds.

- they're deeply in love and would do anything for each other. Craig could get Tweek to stop taking drugs if he wanted to but right now they enjoy experimenting with them together. in the words of everyone who know them, ‘Tweek and Craig are perfectly fucked up for each other’. 

Kyle’s family:

- Sheila’s biggest regret as a parent is letting Kyle get fat, because she was also overweight as a kid and dealt with the same issues he does now. It’s the same reason she feels obligated to help Kyle’s cousin overcome his weight dilemma (by trying to get him and Stan to hang out).

- Ike is an eboy who loves lil peep. He, Karen, Tricia, and Firkle all make tiktoks together and complain about their gay older brothers/friends.

- random fun fact: If Ike and Karen get married that would mean Kyle and Kenny are brothers-in-law, which would mean the main five all end up as extended family to one another.

Stan’s family:

- Sharon has plans to divorce Randy but is waiting until Stan leaves for college to not uproot him from school and his friends.

- Grandpa Marsh is still kickin’ in the old folks home and Shelly’s off in college.

- Randy’s a narcissist who lives vicariously through Stan’s accomplishments in sports. the easiest way to explain it is: Randy’s not as proud of Stan for being a successful athlete and attractive jock as he is proud of himself for producing one. Stan’s ability to get laid with (he presumes) hot girls makes Randy feel like he has game too. one of the reasons he’s disgusted by Stan’s relationship with Kyle is if Stan’s fucking some big fat guy it doesn’t align with his narrative. 

-

this is just the stuff i could think of off the top of my head, i’ll probably come back and add more to this as i remember it. ask me again in a few chapters!!! i have so much i want to say about bunnyman, cutters, the future for style, and their families that i can’t say yet!

[imaginesrus]

A Knock In The Night

Here it is my first Steve Harrington imagine, this has been a lot of fun to write and fun to get to try out a new style.

I have a few ideas for some other imagines but if you would like to send in a request to give a new writer in the fandom a go that would be awesome.

Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None, just pure fluffy goodness

Word Count: 1910

Summary: Your younger brother Dustin has managed to convince your parents to go for a road trip to Utah leaving you home alone without the usual gang hanging around. As you settle for a quiet night in, a knock at the door brings an unexpected and not necessarily unwelcome surprise.

The house was empty. 

Blissfully empty and quiet. 

After the last few weeks of Summer Break, the fire at Starcourt Mall, Dustin’s gang visiting most days having the house to yourself was a luxury you were going to enjoy full heartedly. A final chance to relax before you headed off for your first year of college. 

Your parents had taken Dustin to Salt Lake City for the week and you were almost certain Dustin’s eagerness to travel with them was due to proximity that he would be to Suzie. You had seen him looking at maps while packing, no doubt plotting some elaborate rendezvous at a secret location, by the moonlight of course. 

Ah, young love. 

You opened the cupboard, smiling to yourself that they were all still there, carefully selecting your snacks for an evening of uninterrupted reading and quite possibly passing out mid chapter in the lounge room. Since the Starcourt Mall incident your house had been full with Dustin and his friends, occupying the lounge watching scary movies on the new VHS player your dad had excitedly purchased last week. 

You grabbed a packet of Twizzlers from the cupboard, poured yourself a Coke and made your way back to the empty lounge, breathing in a deep sigh at the sheer peacefulness of it all. You collapsed on the sofa pulling out your book from behind your cushion and placed your drink and snack on the small table next to you. 

Opening your book to your marked chapter as your eyes began to flick across the words, losing yourself in the story of resurrected pets and Indian graveyards. 

A knock at the door, made you jump, the drink in your hand sloshing and splashing onto your top. 

‘Shit, shit,” you ran to the kitchen, blotting your top with the kitchen towel, while another, more urgent knock, sounded through the house again. Holding the towel to your chest, you moved cautiously to the front door.

Maybe reading Pet Cemetery while alone in your house was not quite your best idea yet. 

You looked around briefly for a weapon of some kind, your imagination in complete overdrive at this point. Deciding on an umbrella disused in the walkway, left over from winter long passed. 

You moved slowly to the window, moving the curtain just enough to be able to look at the front doorstep. Your heart stopping for an entirely different reason. 

Steve Harrington.

‘Fuck,’ you muttered under your breath as you dropped the umbrella to the side of the wall and opened the door, Steve’s hand raised again, poised for another knock. 

“Y/N,” he says, clearly surprised not to see his usual accomplice and instead his older sister. Surprise is quickly changed to concern as he notes the towel clutched to your chest “Are you okay?”

“What?” 

He gestures to the front of your top, “Yeah, I spilled some Coke.” You hadn’t yet quite met his eyes, flitting to the side instead. 

You weren’t sure exactly how this ‘friendship’ between your younger brother and Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington developed, but over the course of a weekend it seemed that they had become friends and this resulted in Steve being in your home not the uncommon event you would have thought it would be. 

And yet you still felt uncomfortable every time you are near him. 

“Is Dusty home?” he asks casually leaning against the door frame, craning his neck to look further into the home. 

“He’s gone with mom and dad, somehow he convinced them to a road trip to Utah.”

“Suzie,” Steve says with a smile. Almost like a proud parent. 

“Suzie,” you confirm. Still standing in the doorway, nervously shifting under his gaze. 

“I was hoping that maybe he would want to watch this with me?” Steve held up a copy of a VHS from the video store where he worked. You had visited the video store on numerous occasions usually dropping off Dustin and his friends to pick up a new movie. And there he would be again. It had seemed that for most of this summer you hadn’t been able to escape him and here he was again. 

You examined the video in his hand, “Cujo?”

“Yeah, I mean I was going to watch with him of course, parental supervision and all.” Steve quickly explains as you raise an eyebrow at his choice of movie. 

“Well, Dustin’s not here so-” 

“Right,” Steve gives a nod and you see the disappointment written all over his face. As much as you may hate to admit it your brother and Steve had developed a friendship that had you questioning some of the long formed opinions you had about Steve Harrington. 

You give a shrug of your shoulders, an attempt at cool and casual, “I’m just reading, if you wanted to watch it here. I wouldn’t mind.” 

Which was a lie, because you very much would mind. The sensible decision would be to send Steve back to his car and on his merry way, but you opened the door wider allowing him to enter. 

“You know where the player is,” you said closing the door behind him, “I’m just going to change,” you pointed to your shirt and made your way to your room. 

You closed the bedroom door behind you, pulling off your shirt and digging around your drawer for another. Deliberating between two before reaching a decision. You were all alone in your house with Steve Harrington. You stared at yourself in the mirror, pushing your hair behind your ears before taking a deep. You were just two people watching a movie in the same house, that was all it was. You wouldn’t even been watching the movie. You felt sorry for him, that was all this was. 

You had started sitting at the furthest corner of the couch, intent on focusing on your book, but eventually found yourself distracted by the TV and placing the book back to it’s safe spot under your cushion. Gradually edging closer to the middle of the couch, closer to Steve who was engrossed. 

Your gaze drifted from the movie, to the way the light moved across his face, highlighting his lips, and of course that hair. 

You considered the pack of Twizzlers on your lap, moving closer still and holding the pack between the two of you, a peace offering of sorts. As Steve was focused on the screen in front you tapped the packet gently on his arm, managing to gain his attention. 

He moved to take one, a small smile, before focusing on the screen again. You moved closer as you kept the packet between you, chewing on the Twizzler as you focused on the screen. The two of you engrossed, as you passed the packet between you. Neither one speaking, despite the occasional gasp, or ooh in response to the movie. 

His hand brushed against yours as you handed the packet back and you paused your movements, holding your breath as he did the same. A tension settling over both of you as your eyes focused intently on the screen. Not game enough to see his reaction. 

“Popcorn,” you shouted unexpectedly, earning a jump from Steve. “I’m going to make some.” You quickly got up and moved to the kitchen, muttering to yourself about how exactly you had gotten yourself into this situation. 

You placed the popcorn on the stove, trying to focus on the steps instead of the boy leaning casually against your kitchen bench, watching as you fiddled with the gas. 

“I was an asshole in high school,” he says breaking the silence. Memories of yourself with him in a closet with at Shellie Marino’s 16th birthday party during a game of seven minutes in heaven come flooding back, followed by the teasing, the jibes, cruel words from her peers that he didn’t dispute.  

“No argument here,” you mutter under your breath. 

“But I’m not the same person, things have happened that made me realise that the things I thought were important in high school weren’t. Being popular, being cool, even the hair,” he added with a chuckle. 

“Blasphemy,” you added. 

“I can see why you would be worried about the guy that I was in high school hanging out with your kid brother, I get it. But Dustin is a really cool kid, and for his age kind of wise.” 

“Well don’t you go telling him that. Since that Camp Know Where he has a big enough head as it is.”

“So-”

“So-”

“Truce,” Steve said holding out his hand towards you. 

“Truce,” you agree taking his hand in your own and giving it a firm shake. The sound of the first pop of popcorn had you shrieking, tightening your grip automatically as he does the same, before both dissolving into giggles as he helped you to finish popping the corn before he returned to the couch and you grabbed another treat from the cupboard. 

Taking a seat on the couch next to him, closer than before you leaned over and poured the full box of Milk Duds over the popcorn in the large bowl resting on his lap. 

“Oh God, not you too.” Steve groaned.

“It’s good,” you protest, grabbing a handful and eating them, the mixture of sweet, salty, butter and chocolate covering your tongue in the most wonderful of combinations. 

Steve does the same, his cheeks puffing out slightly as he quite clearly has overestimated just how much food his mouth can hold. 

He almost chokes, before he manages to chew and swallow, while you try to suppress a fit of laughter behind you hand. 

After several minutes, and a large gulp, Steve manages a muffled, “It’s good.”

“Right? You owe Dustin an apology.” You say as you press play on the remote, settling back into the couch as the movie starts up again. 

A silence takes over the room again as the movie plays. You try not to pay attention to the way your hands keep brushing against each others, as you both reach for the popcorn between you. 

The intensity of the film grows and you find yourself leaning closer and closer, your shoulders touching, the bowl empty of the coffee table. And then on the screen the dog crashes through the window. 

“Oh my god!,” you shriek, as Steve’s hand wraps around your own, and on instinct you are turning into his chest, hiding from the imaginary monster on the screen. You shield your eyes from the screen, your hand gripping Steve’s shirt as the final scene plays and you can finally relax. Your breathing returns to normal and as the credits role you notice his arm around your shoulder, holding you steady. 

You look up at him.

“Hey, Y/N,” he says softly, “okay?” The concern in his eyes takes you by surprise there is no alterior motive behind the question, just a genuineness that you didn’t expect. 

“It was just a little intense.” The movie is over, the imaginary threat is gone and really you should be unwrapping his arms from around you and wishing him a good night, but instead you find yourself wanting him to stay. 

“I know this sounds ridiculous, cause it’s just a movie, but-,” you can’t even meet his eyes as you ask, “could you stay?”

He gives you a smile, a genuine one, “I’ll take the couch.”

Turns out maybe Steve Harrington isn’t quite so bad after all. 

[amillioninprizes]

An entirely too long post on how to fix Veronica Mars

So, anyone who has followed this blog for any length of time knows: 1) What a massive Veronica Mars fan I was and 2) how distraught I’ve been over the most recent season that debuted on Hulu in July. I’ve been pretty angry about it since it dropped, but the first month after I was pretty occupied with real life stuff. Now that I’m more settled, I’ve found myself getting sadder and angrier over time with just how terrible S4 was and what an obvious fuck you to longtime fans it was. It feels dumb to be so upset over a tv show, but this show got me through a lot over the past 8 years, and I feel like it’s been taken away from me.

 It’s anyone’s guess as to whether there will be a new season. Ideally it would end here with maybe an alternate ending filmed to avoid alienating fans further. On the one hand, the botched release, overwhelmingly negative response, and silence from the creators after initial interviews don’t look good for renewal chances. On the other hand, Hulu doesn’t have a lot of streaming hits, it probably did relatively decent numbers, and there are rumors floating around that its pickup chances look good. On a personal level, I hate the idea that this is where the legacy of Veronica Mars ends, while at the same time being extremely wary of what the creators have planned. I think a big part of the disappointment with S4 was that the movie and books set up what could have been some really interesting storylines and situations, all of which RT and co. squandered for cheap drama and to apparently turn the show into an entirely new vehicle; additionally I had hope that S4 would be a chance to rectify some problems the show has long had, but again, S4 exacerbated them. At this point I don’t expect anyone higher up in the creative process or at Hulu to give a fuck about the fans or making the show better as long as they hit streaming targets, but here are some suggestions:

Fire Rob Thomas

 While he created the show, it’s become clear that not only has he lost touch with the audience and the original spirit of the character, he doesn’t seem too keen on putting much effort into writing the show (as I will discuss below). Then you have his clear misogyny: his views that women in relationships can’t be interesting, that what makes Veronica interesting as a character is her trauma and how much she can endure, and the fact that basically every female character in the history of the show has a history of sexual victimization. He thought that making the Mexican cartel hitmen “philosophical” was subverting expectations (which says a lot of what his expectations of Latinx characters are). Then this is the way he essentially exploited his long term fan base to earn a new season of the show, only to turn around and tell us that we don’t matter. From a business perspective alone keeping him doesn’t make sense; selling a streaming platform on your loyal fanbase and then proceeding to purposefully piss ~80% of them off would be pretty questionable to me as someone in charge. The sheer cruelty with which he treated not only the fans who have supported him for 15 years (I fucking used to liveblog iZombie y’all. iZombie!), as well as how he callously dismissed long time cast members in favor of celebrity guest stars should not be rewarded. He’s admitted in interviews that he would be ok with younger writers doing a reboot many years in the future; why not just let him have a producer credit and then hand the show over to someone who’s invested in making it good?

Put a woman in charge and diversify the writing staff

A big problem with a) Veronica’s characterization in S4 b) RT’s ideas about what makes female characters interesting c) the show’s long history of problematic treatment of sexual assault is that it comes from a man’s conception of the female experience. The Veronica showcased in S4 and that RT wants to write in the future is very much a male fantasy: hates marriage and children, traumatized, DTF, and is too cool for other women. RT stated in interviews that he wanted to show Veronica at a “crossroads” this season in a way he claimed had been shown for men but not women; many female viewers found this depiction to ring false (few women are spending their time fretting about how committing to marriage after five years in an established relationship will bar us from strange sex going forward). In addition to having RT at the helm, most of the show’s writing staff for the majority of its run has been white dudes, which doesn’t bode well for telling the story of a female PI in a diverse community in today’s political climate. Putting a woman in charge would hopefully help rectify these issues to make the character feel more true to life and put a damper on the misogynistic storytelling. The show has a natural candidate in RT’s second-in-command Diane Ruggiero-Wright (despite her problematic history, never forget #KeisterEggGate), who has admitted to not being able to watch the last episode. Jennifer Graham, who wrote both of the books, would also be a worthy addition to the writing staff; while the books had a mixed reception, most fans agree that she got Veronica’s character right. And with the show’s problematic historical treatment of minority characters, adding more POC writers going forward is also necessary.

Bring back Logan (alive)

You don’t have to be a LoVe shipper to recognize just how integral Logan has been since the inception of the show, not just as Veronica’s partner but as a character is his own right. Logan’s journey in many ways parallels Veronica’s, and shows a contrast in how different characters respond to similar trauma. The most critical plot line in the show’s history, the mystery of who killed Lilly Kane, simply doesn’t work without Logan’s importance to Veronica. RT and his defenders like to claim that Logan was holding her back from true growth, which is frankly bizarre as he is the only character to consistently challenge her, like when he tells her that she obviously isn’t happy this season. Additionally, Logan’s scenes this season were the lone highlight of what was otherwise a painful slog of a season. Of the people who have said they would watch a potential S5, a good portion are only interested because they believe that the ambiguity of the last 10 minutes of the season means he’s not really dead (despite what RT has said in interviews). Then there’s what Logan’s death does to Veronica’s character, effectively cutting off what would have been an interesting character arc and stagnating her forever. No matter how much they try to shove Leo the pedo creep and other milquetoast RT self-insert love interests on us, no one else can possible measure up to Logan’s level in terms of being able to match Veronica as a character, intellectually or as a result of shared history.

Plus, the fact that we haven’t had a Weevil/Logan interaction since S3 is a goddamn travesty and should be rectified immediately.

Bring back Veronica

As sad as I am about Logan’s death, for me the most upsetting aspect of S4 was the assassination of Veronica’s character. For many viewers (including myself), the character we saw Kristen Bell portray in S4 wasn’t Veronica Mars but a different character with the same name. Between her abusive behavior towards Logan, her general indifference to her father’s medical condition, her dismissal of Wallace, and her racism towards Latinx characters (using a kid’s lawyer to threaten deportation: not a good look!), she was lacking the marshmallow-y center that always balanced out the pricklier aspects of her character and made her compelling. This change in characterization was especially jarring given that she was not this way when we last saw her in the books, where she mused about having children and sent her half-brother Hunter to summer camp (side note, but does he even exist anymore?). Many of us who had grown up with Veronica were hoping to see her grow with us as a character; instead we got an extreme regression lower than we’ve ever seen her. It would be one thing if they were trying to depict a PTSD storyline, which would make sense given her background, but since her change in behavior is never addressed by the narrative, it just makes her look like a cruel asshole and makes it impossible to root for her. This is exacerbated by the fact that RT has made it clear he has no interest in portraying her inner life, as shown by his wanting to avoid showing her grief over Logan’s death because it would be a real downer compared to the entertaining but ultimately hollow banter and quips he wants to focus on. Veronica this season was also just plain dumb: you mean to tell me that the girl who nearly got killed by Aaron Echolls in her back seat wouldn’t think to check her backseat every time she gets in a car?  (And let’s not even start with RT’s bizarre assertion in an interview that she apparently votes Republican). Not helping matters was Kristen Bell’s performance, which felt very flat for me this season compared to S1-3 and the movie; I don’t know if this was due to personal limitations or a reflection of the bad writing. Writers of future installments and KB herself would be wise to revisit S1, the movie, and the books to figure out what makes sense for Veronica’s character, leading me to my next point:

Get reacquainted with canon, develop a show bible, and hire a continuity director

This show has long had a problem with dropped plots, timelines, and continuity issues. Shelly Pomroy’s party has two happened either in the summer, or the fall. Then we have the movie paradox: Veronica graduated high school in 2006, which means her 10 year reunion should have taken place in 2016. The movie was released in 2014 and the books seem to keep to 2014 dates. Then S4 states that Keith’s movie accident took place in 2013, and mysteriously ages Veronica up to 35 when she should be 32 in 2019. Logan mentions an Aunt Naomi in S4--why didn’t she take care of him after Aaron was arrested (and what happened to Trina)? How the hell is Leo working as an FBI agent when he presided over the disappearance of the Lilly/Aaron tapes? Veronica is shown to be tentatively forgiving of Weevil taking the settlement from the sheriff’s department in Mr. Kiss and Tell, but is then shown to be extremely angry towards him for it in S4. This is just a small selection of the inconsistencies within the show. Plus there is the problem of repeated plot lines: Veronica rejects Leo in favor of Logan in S1, then rejects Leo in favor of Logan in Mr. Kiss and Tell, only for her to...reject Leo in favor of Logan in S4 (and RT says he wants to leave the high school plots behind). This sloppiness doesn’t bode well for a series that is supposed to be about mysteries, which require tight plotting. It would behove TPTB going forward to once and for all determine a timeline of Veronica’s life, keep a detailed record of past plot and character points, and have at least one person on staff who thinks to remember this stuff (RT notoriously has only a “solid, not spectacular” memory of the show, no matter what Kareem Abdul-Jabbar says).

Make an effort (and do your fucking research) 

Moving on from continuity issues to more general problems with the laziness of RT’s writing. He has basically admitted that he doesn’t care much about facts or characterization when writing plots--he shoehorns details to fit the plot rather than have it evolve organically from the characters and prior canon. I know that when writing it’s often impossible to make every story detail 100% accurate, but the extent of RT’s sloppiness is alarming. This excellent Reddit thread details a lot of the problems with S4 in particular, but this has been a problem since S2. Did anyone ever understand exactly why the Fitzpatricks were invested in framing Logan for Felix’s death? In the movie, it makes no sense that if Cobb and co. wanted Carrie silenced, they would add the complication of framing Logan for her murder--given her history, it would have been a lot easier just to make it look like she had accidentally overdosed. Given his previous patterns of villain writing fans were able to guess the identity of the S4 bomber based on casting alone. The mysteries in both Mr. Kiss and Tell and S4 are both ripped from the headlines, which indicates that RT wants to turn VM into the next Law and Order. Meanwhile, he complained about how hard including Logan in the story in S4 was, while Logan arguably had the best lines and most interesting scenes this season--apparently when you put an effort into things, they work out! This laziness extends past storyline issues and into factual problems that detract from the quality of the plot. Longtime fandom pals are probably tired about hearing me go on and on about how there’s no way Aaron’s lawyers could have gotten Veronica’s medical records due to HIPAA laws. Logan’s career change from naval aviator to intelligence is highly unlikely (and unnecessary, given that they changed it only to fridge him at the end of the season). Meanwhile, I know fanfic writers who have spent hours on the phone with strangers in order to research what type of firearm would cause a specific type of bullet injury. It’s very puzzling to me that RT wants to take the show in the direction of being mystery-only when apart from that one time he is piss poor at writing mysteries and puts no effort into them. I shouldn’t have to tell television writers to, you know, do their job but this is what we’ve come to in 2019.

Know your audience

A majorly annoying thing about the promo for this season is how in every single interview Rob Thomas did he was always talking about how he wanted VM to be like other shows and movies: Fargo, True Detective, Game of Thrones, Chinatown (which is apparently the only noir movie he’s ever seen). The thing is, if I wanted to watch those shows, I would; I watched Veronica Mars specifically because I enjoyed its unique qualities, and I would say most fans agree. The general perception within the fandom is that with this season Rob Thomas seems to have been aiming to dump the old, majority female, CW fanbase in order to achieve what he perceives as a cooler prestigious male fanbase; the issue is, new people aren’t going to take up a show in its fourth season if they didn’t watch or didn’t like earlier seasons. Also, trying to write a prestigious show doesn’t make your show prestigious. Considering that based on anecdotal evidence most of the people who like S4 seem to be male, he may have succeeded in the first part of his aim. However, this majority female fanbase he was so willing to cast aside are the ones who have run fansites and rewatches during fallow times (i.e. between S3 and the movie and then between the books and S4), so drumming up interest among fans (and therefore streaming views) in the future may be a challenge. Plus, women are a better advertising demographic since they are more likely to be in charge of household purchasing decisions, so maintaining us as a fanbase makes business sense as well. He may have tricked enough people into watching S4 that S5 is given a go, but I wouldn’t be surprised if streams are weak beyond that. If the show is to succeed as a commercial endeavor, better to go with appealing to a known quantity than trying to make a generic show that very few people have expressed interest in watching.

Bring back the mystery of the week

This is a more minor thing I felt was missing from S4. I think after the criticism of S3 not having a season-long arc RT overcorrected in focusing on one mystery. However, the mystery of the week had the following benefits: 1) giving chances for the characters to interact and telling us more about them 2) helping to modulate the pace of the season-long arc. With better writing a season-long standalone mystery could maybe work, but in the case of S4 specifically the mystery was kind of dull and repetitive and could have stood to include a couple of diversions in the form of a smaller case here and there.

Re-evaluate the creators’ interpretation of the word “adult”

Much of the promo and reviews for this season noted the more “adult” content to be expected this season now that Veronica’s grown. Many fans hoped that meant seeing Veronica act like, you know, an adult with adult problems rather than a teenager less mature than the actual teenager she was. Unfortunately, the show’s interpretation of the word seems to be more in keeping with a television rating sense of the word--meaning sex, drugs, and gratuitous violence (But apparently not the word “fuck.”). Look, it was expected that as the show moved to a streaming service and given the overall dramatic scope that there would be an upgrade in some of this sort of content (and I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t looking forward to steamier LoVe moments, which were sorely overpromised), but the way it was included this season felt like RT and co. included this stuff just because they could and not to serve the storyline. For me, personally, the biggest example of this was Veronica’s drug use, which I know didn’t necessarily bother everyone. Given her history as the daughter of an alcoholic as well as someone who had been the victim of two roofie attacks, not to mention the fact that her character never seemed to be into partying, I found it very out of character (and book writer Jennifer Graham agrees). It felt like RT included this just bc they thought it would be funny to see Veronica on drugs without considering whether it made sense for her character. Also, were the beheadings strictly necessary? Plus there’s RT’s little temper tantrum over not being able to use curse words this season--they weren’t present in the original show, no one was going to miss them now, and the “cuss” thing was just annoying and reminiscent of The Good Place. 

Dealing with a parent who maybe has dementia--that’s an adult storyline. Too bad RT ended it with a dumb excuse about “mixing meds” (another factual error! Pharmacy software would have caught it!) rather than actually exploring what it would mean for Veronica to see her father in decline and take over the family business (and give Rico Colantoni the exit he appears to want). This is the kind of adult content I would hope to see in future seasons.

Adult is not a synonym for “unrelentingly bleak” either. The original show, while dark, always had an element of hope that was completely removed from S4 (no matter what KB might claim). And would it have killed the writers to show Veronica wearing disguises and going undercover like she used to? There was nothing fun about this season (and no, I don’t count the multiple partying scenes as fun, more like sad).

Kill your darlings

It’s cliche, but it’s true. Another issue the show has long had is the writers keeping around characters or inserting jokes and references for their own personal amusement rather than for the story. The most notable example of this is the continued presence of Dick, a highly problematic character considering he pushed Beaver into the room with Veronica the night of Shelly Pomroy’s party, among a whole host of other racist, sexist, and generally obnoxious actions over the years. But because Ryan Hansen is so widely beloved among the cast and crew, so he stays. Then there’s the matter of the infamous Keister egg in 3x08, which the writers and KB have all expressed love for, despite the fact that said Keister egg is an example of sexual assault--which, even if the victim is a douchey fraternity president, is never funny. 

Also the constant Big Lebowski references are tiring. Watch a new movie.

Improve Neptune’s gender ratio

Veronica Mars, despite having a female lead, has always been a male-dominated show; other than Veronica herself, the only consistent female character over the original show was Mac (and she didn’t even come back this season). This is unacceptable in 2019, for any show. The books introduced promising female characters in the form of Marcia Langdon and Petra Landros, but Marcia’s character was was watered down for S4 and Petra was nowhere to be found. Additionally, Veronica and Mac have always been written as “cool girls” who looked down on other women for their femininity, which isn’t a great message. Almost every other female character, even the innocuous Parker, is portrayed as somehow bad or incompetent. I would love nothing more than a season centered on the women of Neptune and their interactions with each other. While we’re at it, stop giving every woman on this show a background of sexual victimization.

Treat VM as an ensemble show, not a Kristen Bell vanity project 

A major complaint from Burnt Marshmallows and S4 defenders alike was how little time was given over to the original core cast this season. While Veronica may be the protagonist, a large part of how the show became so beloved was her relationships with the other characters. Yet RT has decided that going forward VM will be a KB solo project, with her traveling town to town quipping and sleeping with strangers. This seems strange, given Kristen’s recent interviews talking about how difficult it is to shoot VM and how she never wants to be first on a call sheet ever again, not to mention how she asked for less screen time all the way back in S2, which resulted in the Weevil-Logan storyline, which was way more interesting than Veronica’s storylines during the first half of that season. (The traveling detective thing also seems weird considering that KB is pretty insistent on shooting in LA to be near her family.) Additionally, if this is truly the last season of VM with all the original characters, then no one got a proper sendoff. 

I’m not sure how willing much of the cast will be to return for future iterations, given how uncomfortable many of them seemed during promo as well RT and KB’s treatment of them (insensitive at best, deliberately mean at worst) this season (shout out to Tina Majorino for recognizing what a shit show this was going to be), but bringing back all the original characters into the fold and giving them significant storylines would go a long way to mending fences with fans, improving the show from a character arc perspective, and would also give KB the break she apparently wants. 

Recourt the fanbase

What has VM always been renowned for above all else? It’s incredibly loyal fandom which not only got it renewed twice during its original run but also put up their own money to get the movie made--I know many people who donated when they really couldn’t afford to. RT basically owes the last 6 years of his career to VM fans--the success of the Kickstarter arguably got him the iZombie show running gig, and the fourth season likely wouldn’t have even happened if not for it. Thus, the blatant cruelty and disregard with which RT and KB have treated fans during the promotion of S4 has been incredibly insulting and hurtful; I still can’t fathom what in the world possessed RT to think that throwing away this 15-year relationship was a good idea. It’s not a good sign when the 2 fansites most active during the post-movie period (VMHQ and VM Confessions) cease operations in the wake of S4, and when at least 3 out of 8 board members of the oldest running fan group, Neptune Rising (who were dormant during the post-movie period but played a critical role during earlier fan campaigns and in the S4 promo) resign. A fandom this loyal that was betrayed will not stand idly by if the S5 RT wants to make goes ahead; given the number of tweets the official Hulu VM account has had to delete in the wake of S4 due to the overwhelmingly negative response as well as the controversy over editing out Logan from S4 promos, I imagine that S5 will be a PR nightmare. Even if future seasons are amazing the trust can probably never be fully repaired, but it would be helpful for RT (or fingers crossed, a new show runner) and KB (as star and EP) to go overboard in reaching out to fans and at least admitting they made a misstep with the entirety of S4. Back in the day, the old Mars Investigation fansite was invited to set to conduct interviews; maybe do that again. Also someone should get KB some sort of VM fandom-fluent media trainer because I don’t think she has conducted a single interview during her entire stint on the show that didn’t anger fans (it might help if she actually bothered to watch the show).

Map out an endgame

Look, this can’t go on forever. As long as RT keeps leaving every installment open ended with the hopes of maybe getting renewed again five years down the line, the story is going to keep running into the issues the movie and S4 faced with having to shoehorn the characters into nonsensical plot lines to reconcile those endings and deal with actor availability issues. Either plot another 2-3 seasons to wrap the show up with a satisfying conclusion, or map out a greater timeline of Veronica’s life with spots where a mini series or movie here and there could fit in.

[cobalt-penguin]

y’know what i’m still feeling annoyed and petty, plus i’m stuck inside and it’s storming out so why not type out a checklist of what everyone in TOW did to me.

since i am mean and manipulative, petty and pathetic, and so much more? why not bring up some old beef and give ya’ll something to eat. 

Gansey: tried repeatedly to instigate drama -- if not actively break up -- my OC ships by encouraging -- through IC shenanigans -- cheating and lying. One of these happened while I was on vacation with my family and i still remember crying about it in a hotel bathroom because i thought one of my few ships in the RP was over and I hadn’t even been asked about it. This also included trying to get his OC Tomas to make IC/OOC (hey you can feign innocence when it’s in that dubiously OOC space, until its receptive in which case you can say it was IC the whole time!) at one of my ship partner’s OCs. Made repeated fat jokes at one of my fat characters (the same one they were clearly trying to get away from their partner...hmm...). Claimed I was always running to vague on my personal. Fair enough, I did, but they did the same thing. In poem form. Never answered my message about leaving the RP group because they felt ‘disrespected” by it. Repeatedly including untagged dubcon/noncon elements on the dashboard and triggering me. Lying to Ivy and me about having a full Overwatch party then trying to say “oh it just emptied you can join now”. hid this “FAR” idea from the rest of the RP community and then played coy when they got found out and asked about it by another anon (not me). Made fun of other RP groups in Tumblr tags then, when I asked them and their friends not to, was told “we’re a step above them.” Saying I was excluding them from things when I asked to play OW with them AND invited them to my horror RP group AND, only months beforehand, were inviting them to my Marvel RP??Trying to emotionally manipulate me through threatening to kill characters they had obviously grown tired of playing (probably because their major connections were to me and not their other friends) -- “haha i’m probably going to kill (my oc) idk but doesn’t that make you upset?? what will (your character) even do??” Engaging in nasty “”IC”” interactions with my character, basically telling me, through them, off, and being supported by the entire community in doing so. All of this really hurt me because I considered Gansey a friend and a major inspiration at one point in my life. Someone I non-jokingly looked up to and trusted. I feel like Gansey left TAR, our first RP group, because of how controlling, self-interested, petty, and mean-spirited the admins there were. That they were limiting other people’s creativity while building up their own narrative -- everyone else just there to be their audience. But you and Roman literally became Usa and Jen. Congrats. You lived long enough to become everything you’d rebelled against. And yes Gansey -- I saw all of your messages to everyone. Emotionally manipulating others -- telling them how terrible you are you don’t deserve their friendship, but would like to -- isn’t an apology. Its a tactic. Do better in the future. And despite me “blocking” you? There were a hundred ways to still reach out to me if that was what you really wanted. But let’s be real. It wasn’t. That was part of your gambit to. Goodbye. 

Rosie: asked literally EVERYONE about what had happened with the ““TOW explosion”” except me. never even asked my side of the story. Rosie I don’t even get because the other admins treated her like shit -- making her do all the coding and technical components for the entire RP -- but she was still defending them to the end. Okay. And then to treat Shelly like utter SHIT even though Reyne was running her passive-aggressive mouth off about people who couldn't even defend themselves? Amazing. Yeah, she’s the bully. Your perspective was so twitested by your biases that you were ready to victim blame Shelly just because Reyne had to run at the sight of someone actually throwing their bulltshit back at them. 

Reyne: Like Gansey, frequently indulged in cheating/cucking scnearios for fun -- again, including my own characters without asking or telling me. Don’t think Reyne ever apologized for this, IC or OOC. Dropped ships with me repeatedly -- leaving the group even -- without a word. Passive-aggressive to the max. Made a ship with Gansey just to play out her Teen Wolf OTP -- something that will never not be funny to me, when she called Gansey’s “character” Stiles. Smooth. 

Frankii: Repeatedly dropped me and my characters from plots. Gave me one of the most hurtful comments of my RP community by essentially being like “maybe if your plots and characters weren’t so confusing than more people would want to RP with you.” Invited to join my horror RP group and never made a character. also told me this after Gansey wrote that enormous callout about me, that Roman piggybacked on while the getting was good: “also I'm not here to advocate on behalf of my friend but I really don't think Gansey was trying to be rude last night, they can come off a certain way when they're stressed.” COOL. The rest of Frankii’s message I really appreciated, at the time, but, surprise surprise, then despite us being “cool” they never spoke to me again. 

Laura: I actually really liked Laura tbh but I guess she didn’t feel the same. Some of our interactions back in TAR were actually some of my favorites. I invited her to join my horror RP group and she never made a character. When I asked about this -- and if she needed any help making someone or wanted to leave -- she said she was working on it. Basically stonewalled me over time. Honestly though? Not a lot to say I actually think Laura is a good writer and pretty cool. Its just obvious who her friends were and I, stupidly, thought I was included in that. 

Anna: Actually I really liked Anna too tbh but I guess I vastly overestimated our friendship? It happens. Dropped me from one of her plots -- after talking to me about including me in one of hers because she felt “obligated” basically, from being featured in my own -- without mentioning why or talking to me about it. Invited to join new RP -- refused (not mad about this, just making note of it). Refused to follow my new account when I lost my old one because “lol they’re such a furry”. 

Roman: lmao where to even start. Roman was condescending and elitist literally from the beginning of TAR. barely acknowledged my existence until he had to.I started a plot with an open invitation to the entire RP group, with a deadline so I could start writing. Roman waits until its over and complains that they were left out. I include him anyway. Roman mocks the fact that I ask to tag or outright remove aphrodisiac dust -- because I don’t like seeing untagged dubcon/noncon on my dashboard, it upsets me a lot -- and then goes on a whole thread about it after I go to bed and can’t even defend myself. Apparently told his friends not to invite me to things because he doesn’t like me??? And then he has the nerve to be like communication is key and you can come talk anytime??? While having me on their public “friends” list with a description about me on his blog??? omfg...I literally can’t. To this day. Actually let this image speak for itself.

Everything Else: The repeated, childish treatment of strippers as immoral (””your character is stripping?? my character is so upset and is going to protect them!!”). The implication that characters who were stripping were also automatically sex workers. The continued references to my character, who owned this establishment, as being sleazy and manipulative. Also, honestly, what was with ya’ll adopting some random teenager into your OW groups? That was weird af. And then bringing some random person into TOW without asking anyone and trying to pull rank like “we’re the admin team and we can do whatever we want”. and shit-talking Meg and me in your “open forum” when all we wanted to do was get on with out lives. Like? Who cares? Ya’ll didn’t want me, at least, there anyway, clearly. You don’t get to exclude me then talk about how disrespectful and “wrong” the way I left was..........

Me: I didn’t do everything perfectly either. I know I could be passive-aggressive. I could be self-interested. I could make bitter comments. I dealt with feeling angry and upset by making memes -- which, I’m gonna be honest, I get why ya’ll were upset but I don’t regret either. I had spent so long in TAR/TOW with nobody interested in my characters and plots -- originally because I didn’t vid and played furries but, later, well.........see above -- that I did focus on my own narrative. I wasn’t invited to plots. I didn’t have sexy vampires and boy band werewolves. I played weird characters that didn’t fit the common niche of the cast of an angst and hookup filled supernatural YA novel. Maybe my plots were confusing but, honestly? It was because they were always going to be in the background. I wasn’t disinterested in anyone’s stories. I had just been left out of them for so long -- having to beg to even be a mention in a single mention -- that I had to make my own. I wasn’t there to just be an audience member to be aghast by Roman’s newest quirky boy or Gansey’s newest possessed twink. I was a writer. A member of the community. And, at the time? I thought a friend. Someone who deserved appreciation and respect. 

I know who my true friends are now. We did, ironically, exactly what you did -- we have out own group, our own setting, our own community. 

And I still live with the mean and manipulative things YALL said everyday. Even as an adult -- even with everything I’ve accomplished and am so proud of -- I’m still traumatized by being treated so poorly -- for years -- and not even realizing it. Something I’m still working on -- one of the many reasons I still have trust issues to this day. Congrats. That’s your legacy on me. aNYWAY

byeeeeeee

[killertoons]

okay some backstory for this. way back in high school, my senior year I hit the spooky train at the same time we were reading as a class frankenstien by Mary Shelly.

 We had an entire week right before Halloween dedicated to it. I think it was either Mary Shelley’s birthday or it was something idk. either way we had a frankenstien party that consisted of watching the old movie, making treats and doing projects to get extra credit for that advanced class. cause home girl was in advanced writing and reading, and I have nothing to show for it! anyways, reading the book I discovered that despite how hes portrayed in the media...hes actually incredibly handsome in the book, despite being made of dead people and having some really creepy eyes.  so for that project I designed a frankenstien accurate to the books, even including how hes really made of more then one person, different skin types, the long af hair, and some serious crap stitching cause doctor frankenstien isn't even a damn doctor just a college drop out. I thinkin the book he might of had the black hair, but I made him blonde because of the contrast of black clothes with bright ass blonde hair...and HIS HAIR WAS L U S H like he uses conditioner people. got it approved by the teacher (with a passing comment that Mary Shelly would be both proud and disturbed by my work) and forgot about it. till now~ I know I'm doing the bride eventually, but given in books she doesn't even get a chance to live before doctor dropout destroys her, I might have to improvise more. got inspired to look at the design again because of the sarcastic productions team on youtube, with their visiting of frankenstien lore! big fan of them and hearing them tell the story again reminded me of my stitched up design!

[timeagainreviews]

Twin Peaks s01e01 “Traces to Nowhere”

Happy New Year, and welcome back to Twin Peaks, friends. Before we dive further into the mystery of Laura Palmer, I would like to tell you about my friend Jason. Jason was a pal of mine in high school. We used to hang out, listen to music, watch TV, and smoke. He lived with his girlfriend at the time who was also my friend. This may sound sappy, but around these two, I genuinely felt like the best version of myself. I miss those days incredibly. Jason also happened to be the first person to ever introduce me to Twin Peaks. One night, he and a friend were watching the movie as I came over to buy a bag. On that day, I discovered what was to become my newest obsession, one of which would stick with me for the next eighteen years of my life. Sadly, Jason and I fell out of contact and we lost track of one another.

I mention this because I recently heard through a mutual friend that Jason died two years ago. I'll not go into the details, suffice it to say, it was too soon. I always wanted to track him down to say hello, and now I'll never get the chance. While my friendship with Jason was immensely rewarding, one of the most persistent things he left me with was a love for Twin Peaks. Much of my personal philosophy comes from Twin Peaks, and it continues to inform the person I am today. If it weren't for Jason, I wouldn't be me. Therefore, I would like to dedicate this article in his memory. To Jason Walton- My friend in the stars.

Thank you for allowing me that moment, friend. Now if you remember, we left off on kind of a spooky note. Through some sort of line of sight, Sarah Palmer was given a vision of a gloved hand retrieving James' half of the heart necklace from where he and Donna had buried it. Dale Cooper, after a long day of detection, has turned in for a night of sleep at the Great Northern hotel, which is exactly where today's episode begins.

I've read in the past that you can tell right away when David Lynch is directing, or in this case, when he isn't directing. This is not a complaint about director Duwayne Dunham's work, but there is a clear departure from the slow wave of emotions that permeates the pilot episode. However, the more straightforward procedural pacing works much to the episode's credit. Being written by David Lynch and Mark Frost, this episode is drenched in Twin Peaks tones and textures. I'd go as far as to say Dunham does a damn fine job following the hard act that is David Lynch.

We start with a pan across Cooper's hotel room. As I've done with my Doctor Who reviews, I found myself trying to see this scene as though it were my first time. You watch Twin Peaks for eighteen years, and you tend to forget just how strange the decor at the Great Northern truly is. Off-camera we can hear Agent Cooper talking to Diane through his recorder. As the camera searches across taxidermied deer hooves holding hunting riffles, and ornate nature paintings, we fall upon Cooper, hanging upside down by a pair of metal hooks around his ankles. It's never explained why he's doing this, but for some reason the late '80s and early '90s had a weird thing about hanging guys upside down as so form of exercise. Michael Keaton did it in Batman, Patrick Bateman had one, and even Dale Cooper. Perhaps it was quick way to indicate both athleticism and eccentricity.

Cooper, hanging about in his hot dad garters and boxers dismounts from his perch with an ease that is both impressive and sexy. Before ending his recording session with Diane, Cooper waxes philosophical about Marilyn Monroe and the Kennedys. In a way, this is Lynch and Frost drawing parallels between the deaths of both Monroe and Laura- two blonde women surrounded by powerful men and mystery. It's fitting when you consider that Lynch and Frost's first collaboration was in the form of a Marilyn Monroe biopic which never came into fruition. In many ways, the project laid some of the groundwork for what would become Twin Peaks.

Starting his day right with a balanced hotel breakfast, we're treated to yet another fascinating glimpse into Cooper's diet. As Sheriff Truman says later in the episode, he must have the metabolism of a bumblebee. Cooper orders a breakfast he refers to as "hard on the arteries," which is as hard as he wants his eggs. He wants his bacon super crispy- cremated. It may sound as though I'm exaggerating, but I've always loved watching Cooper order breakfast. He seems to revere food in a way not regularly seen on dramatic television. The morning coffee is more than one of the best, it's "damn fine." People have complained that the way people talk about food in Twin Peaks is weird. Sure, maybe in life creamed corn isn't an allegory to pain and suffering, but we've all been there when someone is having a similar reaction to the stuff. Food is personal, and it's a part of everyone's lives, why wouldn't characters talk about it?

Arriving at the tail end of Cooper's order is Audrey Horne, who has seemingly grown a good six or seven inches of hair overnight. Out of all of the mysteries in Twin Peaks, this was the least perplexing. Somewhere between filming the pilot and the first episode, Sherilyn Fenn grew her hair out, and it looks stunning. Everything about Audrey is stunning. Her eyebrows are stunning. That sweater is stunning. But at the moment, it is she who is stunned by Agent Cooper. Just as charmed by his eccentricities and his slicked black hair, she approaches Agent Cooper and asks to join him. Immediately Cooper sizes up that she finds him attractive, she's not exactly hiding it, and neither is he for that matter. For many fans, this is the moment the ship of Cooper and Audrey set sail. I personally always prefer the version where Cooper does the adult thing and doesn't date a high schooler.

After questioning Audrey, Cooper heads off to the Sheriff Station where they seem to still be having their breakfast as everyone he encounters has a mouthful of donuts. I'd also like to note the weird guy with a welding torch and ladder near the entrance. Twin Peaks is a lived in world filled with these people toiling away. Sheriff Harry Truman, mouth full of donuts, can't get a word in as Cooper flies into the room. After spelling out the itinerary, Cooper disappears to "urinate." This marks the first of many references to Dale Cooper's pee. Much like Tom Hanks, our favourite FBI agent is passionate about pissing. It's one of those life things, like food, that Twin Peaks likes to celebrate. Sometimes it's really nice to have a good piss, therefore sometimes Twin Peaks is about having a really good piss. I'm being completely earnest here.

Dr Hayward arrives to the sheriff station to report the findings of the post mortem. Unable to carry out the procedure himself, he outsourced the job to a nearby colleague. I've always admired the way Warren Frost plays this scene. His sadness seems to come and go in waves of realisation. There are the same echos from the pilot episode present here. From the report we learn that Laura died from a loss of blood from numerous shallow wounds. She had bite marks on her shoulders and marks on her arms from having been bound. She had also had sex with at least three men the night of her murder. The doctor also concludes that there is no doubt that Ronette was also present. As Dr Hayward relays this grizzly tale, his eyes wander to the photo of Laura. Pangs of sadness wash over his face as he questions who could do such a thing. He was the doctor present at her birth. She was his daughter's best friend. Laura was family to him.

On the other spectrum of family, we join the Johnsons at their incomplete home. Unable to just ask Shelly if she would do his laundry, Leo has to play mind games. He asks her if she did his laundry and chastises her as if catching her in a lie because his bag of nasty truck cabin clothes are still dirty. Eric Da Re is not a great actor, but there's something perfect about that. Leo is a big asshole that gaslights his wife, I don't expect much depth there. The only good thing I say about him is they got rid of his awful perm from the pilot. Even the way he pinches her cheek is controlling and unnatural. There's clearly no love between them, which is why when she discovers a blood-stained shirt in Leo's laundry she hides it. With Laura recently dead, and his behaviour as of late, this could be evidence. When he comes back later in a frenzy to find said shirt, he flies into a rage at its absence.

We're back at the Sheriff Station where we learn James Hurley owned the other half of Laura's necklace. As compared to Bobby's interrogation, James is Mr Manners. He answers all of Agent Cooper's questions with a quiet intensity. He admits to shooting the picnic video, and to owning the other half of the necklace, but not knowing who dug it up. He was also aware Laura was taking drugs but tried to get her to stop. On the night she died, James picked Laura up on his motorcycle. Acting strangely Laura disembarked from his bike, a disagreement ensued, Laura told James she loved him and disappeared into the woods. Cooper seems pleased with this information. We're then shown slow-motion picnic footage of Laura smiling at the camera. A somewhat cheesy "Help me," is played over the sound of wind and haunting music. It's a sort of fourth-wall-breaking that makes Twin Peaks feel as though not only the town, but the show itself is haunted by the late Laura Palmer.

Bobby and Mike, freshly arrested from their fistfight with Ed argue in their holding cells about the money they owe Leo Johnson. After being briefly questioned by Agent Cooper, they're both sent away with a warning not to harm James. James is also released into the custody of Big Ed, who confides that he believes the bartender, Jacques Renault,  slipped a Mickey in his drink. Ed wasn't just meeting Norma that night, he was also staking out Jacques' activities as a suspected drug dealer.

Speaking of Norma, we're given a brief but intense encounter at the general store between her and Nadine. At this point in the show, Nadine is completely bonkers. While I don't feel like she becomes any less touched in the head, we do begin to see more depth to her than just Ed's crazy wife. Wendie Robie is so good as Nadine, that Peggy Lipton only really need to react in kind as Nadine goes on about her drape runners. You can tell there's a quiet rivalry between the two women, both of whom resent one another for what they represent to one another. Norma is the woman Ed loves, and Nadine is the woman that stole him from Norma. When Nadine emphatically mentions the cotton balls that will make her drape runners completely silent, Norma can only stand as if in disbelief. It's the epitome of "weird flex, but ok." It doesn't help that all of this cotton ball talk is nestled into a conversation about Ed being in intensive care. Nadine exits as soon as she entered, leaving poor Norma looking confused and slightly violated.

Speaking of forbidden love, we're given a great scene between Donna Hayward and her mother, Eileen. We learn that despite her grief for Laura, and the guilt it makes her feel, Donna is finding herself loving James. Despite the nightmare that surrounds her, this love for James is like a beautiful dream. Eileen encourages her to invite James over for dinner, which she does. When watching James meet the Haywards I couldn't help but think of Eraserhead. In both, we get two entirely different, albeit very Lynchian "meet the parents," scenes. While James isn't asked to carve any manmade chickens, the awkward politeness permeates both scenes. There’s a sort of wholesomeness that borders on absurdity. Watching James make small talk in his big boy sweater is about the cutest damn thing that you almost forget how violent and terrifying Twin Peaks can be at times. This is something lifted straight out of the Waltons with it's cheesy Americana and good-natured sincerity. Of course, not everyone is as pleased about this new pairing as Mike and Bobby spot James' bike outside Donna's house.

Meanwhile, Dale and Harry find their way at the Martel residence to speak with Josie about her language classes with Laura. Through body language alone, Cooper deduces that the Sheriff and Josie are an item of sorts, as indicated at the end of the pilot episode. Pete is his usual charming self, offering up a cup of Joe to our boys. We're given another Cooperism as he asks for his coffee "black as midnight on a moonless night." That's pure poetry. We don't learn much from Josie here, other than the fact that Laura used to tutor her English and that she seemed distracted the last time they met. The biggest takeaway from the scene is that somehow Pete accidentally brewed a pot of coffee with a fish in the percolator. This is easily one of the most iconic scenes from the original series. Jack Nance was a treasure, and I will never not feel absolute delight when he comes rushing in just a touch too late- they've already tried the coffee.

Josie is called away for a phone call from the ice queen Catherine who informs her that shutting down the mill for the day cost the company more money than it was worth. After hanging up with Josie, we can see Catherine is in a strange motel, sipping champagne with Ben Horne. They're clearly working against Josie, but it's no secret that neither of them trust one another. Everyone is playing the double secret con, and it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. However, we do learn that the two are on again off again lovers. On the other side of town, Deputy Hawk follows up with Ronette's parents at the hospital. The Pulaskis don't have much information other than the fact that Ronette used to work the perfume counter at Horne's Department Store. As he is leaving, Hawk sees a suspicious one armed man skulking around the morgue. Following his gut instinct he starts tailing this mysterious figure through the dark halls of the hospital. Upon entering a room alight in a trippy dayglo black light, Hawk finds himself alone. Whoever this mystery man was, he disappeared into thin air.

A lot of this episode's theme seems to centre around the relationship between the parents and the high schoolers. Along with her conversation with her own mother, we get a scene between Donna and Sarah Palmer. Sarah, still sick with grief, seems genuinely pleased to see Donna until she sees Laura's face superimposed over Donna's. As she's pulling her closer she gets another vision, this time of a creepy grey-haired man sitting at the edge of Laura's bed. Sarah goes into full-on panic mode in a way only Grace Zabriskie is capable of delivering. Leland rushes in to whisk Donna away from the traumatic experience. In his own home, Bobby is getting a stern lecture from his father, Major Garland Briggs. The Major awkwardly tries to treat Bobby with some tough love, but ultimately misses the mark. Bobby's problems are bigger than anything his poor parents could fathom. The Hornes also experience a bit of domestic turmoil with Ben confronts Audrey about how her conversation with the Norwegians cost their family greatly. But unlike the Briggses, if Ben wanted to understand Audrey's rebellious nature, he only need look in the mirror.

Let's take a moment now to consider Laura Palmer. She was a troubled teenage girl with a drug habit, yes. Add to that being homecoming queen, in Spanish club, tutoring immigrants, caring for Audrey's special needs brother, and even heading Meals on Wheels for the elderly and shut-ins. It's the Meals on Wheels program that brings Cooper and Truman to the Double R Diner, where Laura used to work. We learn that Laura didn't just head the program, she created it. If any fictional characters were gunning for sainthood, Laura would be high on the list. It's easy to see why losing her has wounded the town so completely. The Log Lady approaches Cooper about Laura Palmer informing him that her log saw something the night Laura died. However, Cooper's reluctance to ask the log directly leads to her leaving before relaying the log's message.

Fresh off her shift from the Double R, Shelly returns home to Leo who has just put a bar of soap into a sock. He questions her about the bloody shirt, but she feigns ignorance. He tells her he's going to "teach," her about respecting people's property as he advances toward her with the sock swinging over his head. We can only look on hopelessly as the brutish Leo approaches a cowering Shelly. The scene graciously cuts away, as we know what comes next. The episode concludes in Dr Jacoby's bizarre Hawaii themed office (or maybe apartment, maybe both). Inside a fishtank sits three dried out puffer fish filled with blinking lights like paper lamps. After putting a tape into his stereo he dons a pair of giant headphones revealing a taped conversation from his former secret patient- Laura Palmer. He pulls coconut from a palm tree and settles in to listen to his tape. He opens up the coconut to reveal the other half of Laura's necklace. It appears that Dr Jacoby was the one following James and Donna into the woods.

The contents of the recording are revealing, not just about Laura, but also about Dr Jacoby. Laura's flirtatious nature indicates that we can add one more sexual partner to Laura's list. She mentions how James is sweet but too dumb to talk to her about her problems like Jacoby is capable of doing. But part of the brilliance in the scene is that you can also sense that Laura is acting for Dr Jacoby. Fulfilling the role of a young helpless girl who loves him, so that he may fulfil some role she needs. Whether it be a form of protection or just a soundboard for her problems, she had him wrapped around her finger. So what is this ritual of Jacoby's? Are these the actions of a killer reminiscing over the trophies of his hunt, or a man grieving the real, if not inappropriate relationship he had with a young girl? As the tape continues, we hear Laura talking about a man in a red car who can really light her "F-I-R-E." She continues to make a confession about a mystery man, but the audio drops out, leaving us only the doctor's perplexed face to clue us into what she said. The credits roll as we're left wondering.

Truth be told, I could have written this review without having to rewatch the episode. I try and rewatch Twin Peaks in its entirety at least once every one or two years. However, I am glad I did revisit this one as there are lots of little pieces of minutiae I may have overlooked. More than anything, I was curious to weigh Dunham's directing against David Lynch's, and I have to say, it's not bad. The tone is correct for the series and the emotions are played for real. It's always going to be different because the two directors are different people. But as certain episodes in season two prove, some directors begin to parody Lynch's style, adding weird for the sake of weird. But this early on, it is as though Twin Peaks is a juggernaut of unstoppable creativity. Even the duller storylines take on the energy of the greater mystery. Lynch only directed a handful of the original series episodes, which is why the next episode I'm reviewing is an especially exciting one. Not only is episode two (aka the third episode) directed by David Lynch, but it also begins to introduce some of the more metaphysical elements of the series. You could almost say that Lynch directs the most important episodes, and my god is this next one a doozy.

Well, friends, that's all from the world of Twin Peaks for now. I'll have the next review up soonish, but not before the new Doctor Who review. Speaking of which, it is now less than an hour until it airs! Who else is excited? What a great way to ring in the new year! See you all soon!

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x09

After the very public outing of Liza’s real age last week, it was no surprise that this week’s Younger episode, ‘Millennial’s Next Top Model’, was all about the fallout. In true Younger style we were treated to some unexpected twists and turns, saw Kelsey take control at work and in her personal life and welcomed back my #1 mega-villain who I hate-love fiercely, Quinn Tyler.  This ep was written by Grant Sloss, who is responsible for a number of my favourite episodes and lot of my fave moments in the series and one thing I am always blown away by is his ability to craft character interactions in which the sentiment and emotion are really palpable (plus the one-liners are always top of the game) and we certainly saw a number of those this week.  Even though Liza is 100% responsible for the position she now finds herself in, my heart went out to her this whole episode and Kelsey, Charles and Diana’s show of solidarity right from the get-go pretty much sums up everything I love about this show. 

I need to say upfront that while I know this episode is all about Liza, it is hands down my favourite episode of Kelsey’s in the series. In a time of real pressure and stress, we see Kelsey step up in the role of publisher, starting with the damage control team meeting in her office. I have big feelings about this opening moment, in which Diana proves why she is an actual Queen who rises above past grievances and now offers unwavering support of Liza while continuing to have zero time for Zane’s bullshit (the ‘well mercifully they have a paywall now’ to Zane’s New York Magazine tidbit was all of the yes). We learn of the deal with Infinitely 21 (was it just me or did anyone else get heart flutters at the thought of Kelsey, Diana and Liza being their brilliant selves and brokering that arrangement? Just me? Cool) and I have spoken of my love for the way this show parodies real life things but this might take the cake. Alexa, what are synonyms for ‘forever’? I just adore that it is very clear that Kelsey is in charge and that Charles and Diana are offering up potential solutions (Diana’s ‘rest her a bit’ is so in character I cannot. Between that and Charles’ thoroughbred thighs from season 4 I fully expect her to have a couple of horses upstate somewhere called Charles and Liza by the end of this series), meanwhile Zane clearly still hasn’t caught on to the fact that these three are not going to throw Liza under a bus.

Enter Liza as he’s ending his tirade about her poisoning the company (and lbh, what he is saying isn’t actually ridiculous from a business p.o.v but he’s talking about the best friend, girlfriend and (old) maid of honour of the people in the room) and it’s awkward af and pretty awful and I want to climb through my screen, wrap Liza in a blanket and tell her it’s all going to be ok. Zane’s extreme over-estimation of his importance in Liza’s life continues when he tells her that what he’s saying can’t be personal because ‘I don’t know who you are’ (worth it for Charles’ ‘Zane’ reprimand though amirite) and as I said after last week’s episode, I can’t even count on one hand the number of interactions Zane and Liza have had so yes Zane, that is accurate and nothing to do with her age reveal. At least once he discovered that Kelsey has known about the lie he FINALLY has a reason to be hurt (maybe? Still a little fuzzy on this one) and look Zane saying they’re all insane might be somewhat accurate but everyone in that room loves Liza and I love all of them so I felt personally attacked tbh.

Keeping with the stellar guest star casting this season, Shelly Rozansky (played by Annaleigh Ashford) is every kind of irritating as brand rep of Infinitely 21. Kelsey and Liza’s meeting with her, in which Shelly explains that 'the tea’ is that their authentic brand cannot be associated with Millennial’s inauthentic one (I love the moral high ground re: brand but I’m pretty sure Millennial doesn’t have factory workers making less than a living wage so…) and this very real ramification of Liza’s lie paves the way for one of Liza’s best moments on the show to date.

Taking that tea of Shelly’s and throwing it in her face, Liza’s monologue that 'everyone is pretending to be younger’ reaches it’s climax with the zinger, 'Millennial is not an age, it’s an attitude and if you can’t sell that, we’ll go somewhere else’, and Kelsey’s look of pride, same girl SAME. One thing I have commented on in the past is that as a '26 year old’ Liza rarely, if ever, really stood up for herself. The few times we’ve seen her do so have been as the forty year old who takes no crap from anyone (David, Charles, Don) so I am here times a million for strong ass Liza to finally shed that guilt, know her worth and be able to show this side of herself now that the lie is no longer in play (I feel like Diana will dig this very much).

Turns out Shelly was quite into Liza’s feisty outburst too ('what you screamed at me today, justifiably, we’re still friends promise…it resonated’ = award winning line/delivery combo), as she calls to let Liza know they’re going to unfreeze the partnership and asks Liza to be the face (and legs) of Infinitely 21’s Spring campaign. This phone call takes place in a very delicious looking cupcake shop where Liza and Charles are playing cards with his daughters in an all round delightful family situation that gives us a glimpse of the Miller-Brooks dynamic and makes the point that after a pretty terrible day, Liza is grateful to have this in her life to counter all the drama. I am also pleased to see that Bianca and Nicole have been located (meanwhile Caitlin, Beth and all of Josh’s friends remain stuck in the Upside Down or have become bunker people or something equally ominous I fear).

I am very into a number of aspects of this entire scene: a) Charles eating candy just up and gets me for some reason. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, but it’s akin to seeing him walking round barefoot, it confuses my brain but I’m pretty sure I like it; b) Bianca is clearly the fave child with her cute little, 'I won’t take your last bag of candy Liza’ (lol at Charles’ 'wow’ when Liza offers that up for the taking btw, he knows that’s a serious gamble) though I was 100% Nicole as a kid; c) those kids are so not sleeping after all that sugar so I hope they’re staying at Pauline’s, while Charles’ dad game is strong with the breakfast cupcakes and; d) Charles kissing Liza on the cheek as she takes Shelly’s call is so damn sweet (pun intended) and supportive and I love that Liza suggesting he go stand with the girls in case she starts crying again indicates she has been an open mess around him. It’s writing like this that I really appreciate when there is so much to fit into an episode, because it provides insight into the kind of relationship Liza and Charles have when there simply isn’t time to show it.

While Liza is drowning her sorrows in candy and cupcakes, Maggie is at the brilliantly cringy art exhibit, 'Masculinity Detox: A Softer Male Gaze’. Look I have to be honest, I was really happy to see Oded Fehr because he can play a skeeze with charm like no other, but I don’t know how I feel about this entire plot. I can only comment on it from a straight perspective, so I am aware that I’m not really in a position to express an opinion in relation to the impact of showing a gay character thinking it’s a good idea to sample a penis every ten years or so, but I certainly feel like it’s problematic. In relation to this character though, it is consistent with Maggie sleeping with Tommy Minetti (and his sister Tammy) as a result of Berlin’s 'Take my Breath Away’ (I don’t know why I remember that, I can’t remember what month it is yet this stuff is right there) and there is no denying that there were actual sparks between Maggie and Rafael in the loft, the palpable chemistry that Grant Sloss’ eps seem to draw out on full display. 

Another dimension of Maggie that I love seeing emerge in this ep is that while she is usually a total badass in absolute control, every now and then we see that her judgement of character is just way off. There was Montana, those weirdo art collectors who actually collect artists and now this guy. I love that there’s a side of her that gets a bit blinded by flattery so she thinks 'what the hell?’ and the inevitable 'oh I CAN-NOT with this bullshit’ that follows, usually very publicly - Exhibit A: Maggie countering dirtbag Rafael’s, 'I’ll change you mind, I’m a flipper’ with a literal flip of the restaurant table once she realises she was simply another conquest. She seems so unflappable that these reminders that she’s fallible (I legit sometimes forget she’s not an actual super hero) are really great and maintains the 'flawed human’ aspect this show does so well. Honestly, other than Liza in a full tracksuit (sweat clothes?? I don’t know what it is in American but that cute pink sweat top and sweatpants combo) thinking they were being robbed and very confused by what had happened (so were we all lbh and Kinsey 9 LOL), it was Maggie equating sex with a man to being suffocated by a damp rug that was the highlight of this entire storyline for me. So damn funny.

Diana continues to have Liza’s back as she heads to the photo-shoot to steer her away from anything pleather (I may need a spin off of these two or some kind of one off special episode that’s just an elaborate Diana/Liza adventure, maybe rescuing Caitlin and co. from the bunker??), but not before we catch Kelsey still slaying it as a boss as she leaves a voicemail for the increasingly petulant Zane. Hearing her so firm and sure of herself is brilliant and the friendship vibe between Diana and Kelsey is peaking and I am loving every bit of it. I am so glad we heard Diana asking Kelsey how she took the lie, while Diana was able to forgive and move forward it would have been strange if we didn’t see her still processing some of it this week. Plus it’s Diana who points out that Zane’s tantrum is not because Liza is who he is upset with (and THANK YOU Kelsey for pointing out that Liza and Zane hardly know each other). 

Rather than letting the whole Zane thing fester away, Kelsey continues to impressively show initiative by going to Zane’s and offering to cook dinner (which Zane knows is a lol and it’s not long before he’s cooking, so well played Kels) to give him the opportunity to ask anything he wants and she will answer honestly. Once a proper explanation of why Liza lied and why Kelsey kept it from him is given, Zane suddenly reverts back to being a rational human being which is a relief because he was fast becoming the worst (though his comment that they were all bad liars, what now?? Yes they be cray but their lying game is strong friend). I am not particularly invested in Kelsey and Zane as a pairing but I always appreciate good storytelling and writing, and revisiting the fact Zane told her he loved her in past tense was an example of both of these. In order for any kind of relationship between these two to progress believably this needed to be addressed and hearing Kelsey call Zane out on his shitty and manipulative behaviour was great, but even greater was seeing Kelsey drop her guard.

Opening up about being mad at herself too and that maybe if they were both more open about their feelings they wouldn’t have wasted so much time denying how they really felt; that she felt, no, feels, the same way, present tense; the resetting of the timer so she can finish what she was going to say instead of taking the option of backing out; the honest conversation…you know what all this is? Growth. Kelsey Lorraine Peters, I am just so damn proud of you because I am the first to admit that I was not sure this character could be redeemed for me after last season but here we are. The emotion for this whole scene, you could feel it and Zane’s, 'oh that timer was for food’ was fab, before he just casually drops in, ’ I love you, but stay out of my kitchen’. OK.  Smitten mode activated.

Meanwhile, Diana is no doubt enjoying Shelly’s disbelief that she and Liza are almost the same age about as much as a root canal and Lauren appears with a 'bowflex for your face’ to combat the 5 o'clock jowls. Side note: Lauren and Liza really need to have a convo asap because I definitely feel like Lauren is not ok with the lie since it’s been revealed. Scene of the ep goes to Charles walking into the trailer (with flowers for Liza *swoon*) while Diana is flapping that contraption, before he slowly backs away and I tell you, I was howling so hard I almost ruptured something. Liza’s hideous romper/scooter combo is just no on many levels, she clearly feels super unnatural and the photographer snapping Charles and Liza, who are not expecting to be photographed while her being made up to look so young obviously makes them look very far apart in age and a bit awks means that yes, the daddy/daughter dance vibe is strong, though that line made me vom in my mouth a little bit.

Between shoots our extremely excellent villain Quinn pays Liza a visit to show her support and her well-polling glasses. Her real talk that the good news about the publishing reaction to Liza’s lie is that 'eight blocks outside of midtown, nobody cares’, is what we were all thinking and is def to be filed under 'G’ for Gold. So naturally Quinn drags her into a completely self-serving NY1 interview (bless Liza for thinking they wanted to interview her) and I freaking love Quinn, she’s such a delicious character coz she’s awful and funny and pretty and a total smart ass. I stan.

Before we jump to the second part of the photo-shoot I have to say that the very obvious ploy to try and juxtapose Liza’s relationships with Charles and Josh felt like it was trying too hard and was mostly disappointing to me because it felt so forced. I want to be very clear that it has nothing to do with who I like Liza with romantically, it would have felt contrived regardless and was the only aspect of the episode that I felt could have been crafted with a little more nuance. Or maybe that was the point? Perhaps the obviousness was part of the humour of it *shrug emoji* 

Either way, Liza is looking pretty exhausted when Josh turns up at the bar photo-shoot for reasons (whose name I am betting is Lauren Heller because there is no way he would just turn up and it is 100% in her wheelhouse to send him along after seeing the expressions on her face at the earlier shoot. I feel like this will def come out at some point and that really this whole shoot is serving to bring about stuff in future eps) and he doesn’t get to explain why he is there because he’s teasing Liza about being a model and I really do love their banter. Shelly has no idea what’s happening but she likes it and is thirsting pretty hard as she shakes his hand and I enjoyed hearing Liza talk about Josh as patient zero, her 'would you correct him?’ as she squeezed his cheeks made me smile. I know there have been a LOT of feelings about this scene expressed on social media, but I found the reminiscing, as Josh talked about how when he first met Liza he thought she was smart and sexy and he wanted to keep talking to her, really sweet (and quickly countered by his joking about being really drunk and it being dark).  

I actually love this dynamic so much and if this show had moved these two properly into the friendzone I would be celebrating this as a pin-up example of how to show romantic-platonic relationship transition. I still may, because at this stage there is nothing to indicate that Liza is anything but committed to Charles and Josh gave no impression of pining for her IMO, but as an experienced TV connoisseur (aka obsessive tv show watcher) I am not naive enough to think that this interaction mightn’t be setting in motion a resurgence of the triangle. By the same token, I do not see any triangle in play at the moment and one thing this show does excel at is surprising us, so time will tell, but I am going to keep my faith in the writers to tell good, compelling stories that stay true to all the excellent characters and narratives they have in front of them, as they have done up until now.

While Liza’s colleagues aren’t going to throw her under a bus, Quinn is not only more than happy to, I’m pretty sure she’d drive the bus herself if it served her own self interest.  Quinn saying that she found out about Liza’s lie the week before in The New Yorker article, ooomph, did you feel that? It was the wind being knocked out of all of us, along with poor Liza, as Quinn counters Liza’s suggestion that she knew the truth before she invested on live TV. It was evident fairly quickly that Quinn was using the interview as a campaign platform and Liza’s expression as Quinn betrays her so publicly is yet another credit to Sutton Foster’s incredible talent.

My Kelsey love was brought home this week when she met Quinn following the NY1 interview. She is unrelenting in her backing of Liza and unwavering in her stance to Quinn when she is asks her to fire Liza. From the moment she arrives Kelsey is so kick ass, she sees every one of Quinn’s attempts to bully her into getting what she wants and Kelsey’s, 'please don’t minimise the strength I bring to this meeting’ was such a hell yes moment. There is something so satisfying about seeing Quinn in a position where she needs something from Kelsey and Kelsey standing so firm. Kelsey’s 'are we done here?’ before walking away was such a power move and the transition into her own office the next day, with Charles reassuring her that she did the right thing, was wonderful. Seeing these two as equals, talking business with a bit of a mentor/mentee dynamic is a dream. It was on my season 6 wish list and I can’t wait to see more of it.

It is upon discovering that Audrey Colbert’s manuscript delivery cheque bounced and that Diana just heard one of the Jennifer’s, the sloppy one from publicity (this line, I swear and also I need to meet her), say her direct deposit didn’t go through that we discover Quinn has thrown the ultimate tantrum and pulled her funding and Mercurennial is broke.

Poor Liza feels that it’s all her fault, I’m sure partly because of the way her colleagues turn and look at her when she walks in the office and partly because it is, but Charles continues to play the role of ultimate supportive partner as they stroll down the street after work, pointing out that Liza attracted Quinn to the company in the first place (and we ALL know it was not the company she was attracted to). I am simple folk and Charles saying he’s spoken for as he put his arm around her made me melt into a puddle and if anyone is feeling concerned about Liza’s level of besotted, watch this final scene as Charles reassures her that, 'you know what’s great about the worst thing happening? There’s no place to go but up. Only good things ahead’. I may have actually died from the sweetness of the entire thing and Liza does exactly what any self respecting person would in that situation and kisses him before they walk off hand in hand. To live happily ever after…jokes LOL I mean it’s television and it turns out Infinitely 21 has the most efficient marketing team on the planet because their campaign is launched and whattya know, it looks as though Liza and her ex will be plastered all over the city. 

File under 'O’ for OF COURSE.

[japanessie]

Hi Shelly! I'm sorry you're feeling blue! I was going to ask that about Taka and Hiro, too, but was worried I'd get too upset but since someone else asked anyway...It just kind of made me wince with hurt for Hiro when a few years ago Taka ranted on instagram about privacy (for his own life, not about his family). Like, where was your voice when your own fans were BULLYING your baby brother or when they posted on a forum after the ONE time Tomohiro finally showed his face, they asked if he was...

[2/3] Adopted! He already had issues being on camera (hasnt been on since, cant blame him). So, Hiroki looks too much like Taka but Tomo doesn’t look enough? They’re his little brothers, I think bullying BOTH Little brothers is when the time to speak up is. I’m not saying the bros cant handle themselves but I just feel Hiro, aside from mfs, has been on his own. It would be nice if his eldest brother took responsibility for his so called “fans” who attack his family and stood up… 

[3/3] Sorry it just hits close to home. I know what it’s like 2 not have your older bro there when u need him most. When he leaves u in a house burning with hatred (i got to hear my parents accuse each other of cheating while my bro was out smoking & drinking. It makes me wonder what Hiroki heard when no one thought he was listening). I dont mean to take it personally or anything, I just feel like Hiroki & I are very similar. It’s why I like mfs. I’m sorry, I just have no one else to talk about it to.

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Hi 😊. I combined your messages together into one for easier reading

First of all I’m sorry for the pain that you personally had to go through. I hope you’re doing okay 🤗. At the same time though, I see uniqueness besides similarities in everybody’s situation. 

1. Someone who is broken can’t be a crutch for someone else

In a traditional family setup in many cultures, even more prominent in Asian cultures, the eldest child is always the one assumed to carry responsibilities of looking after the younger ones. In a family crisis situation, while the younger ones theoretically have the one they can turn to, the eldest child has nobody and is usually left to fend for himself and everybody else. 

Some elder kids have the inner strength and maturity to carry it at young age but some really struggle with it and only develop at a later age. Your brother and Taka seem to be in the latter category. Like Taka, your brother walked out because he was hurting and that was the shortcut way he knew how to surpress it and to stay away from what was troubling him at home. He couldn’t be your pillar when he was broken himself. Just like Taka who took the quick way out and his story had been well documented. 

Also, a lot of times, someone who feels worthless doesn’t understand why anyone would feel hurt to see him walk away. I’m sure Taka himself only fully began to understand NOW, as an adult, the hurt he caused Hiro when he walked away back then. In his mind, he was a loser. Not doing well in school, stressed out over the parents’ marriage breaking up, not getting along with their father, very unhappy and not knowing where his future was heading. Certainly not someone for little Hiro to look up to. How would he look after Hiro when he could barely take care of himself?

* The Moriuchi brothers in those days when they used to be around each other a lot, before OOR moved out of Japan 😊

2. Some people need to pull themselves together first before they can love others

That dark period in Taka’s life was not something he’s proud of. He acknowledges it in interviews and his lyrics. Even OOR members admitted that Taka wasn’t exactly a pleasant person to deal with when they first found him. But once he got his life on track, things fell into places. He made amend with his father and got back the Moriuchi name. While Taka couldn’t give back the years with him that Hiro lost, he let Hiro hang around his friends and be a part of his life back in that way. 

Even Hiro never denied the perks of being Taka’s brother. The most significant was when one of Taka’s close friends K from Pay Money To My Pain befriended Hiro and how that friendship led to the formation of MY FIRST STORY. 

Think again, would Kei Goto a.k.a the late K simply befriend a random underaged high school kid just like that? I highly doubt it 🤔. Hiroki Moriuchi was NOT some random high school kid. K and Taka were buddies and Hiro the high school kid was Taka’s little brother. I doubt Taka would let his little brother hang around someone he didn’t trust. He knew Hiro was in good hands. All these happened only after Taka got his life back on track and was able to be the big brother figure he was meant to be for Hiro.

3. Taka publicly standing up for Hiro would be bad for Hiro’s image

Yes, it would be counter-productive for Taka to do so. You see, the ROOT of the hate and cyber-bullying towards Hiro stemmed from how easy things happened for him because of his family connection. If Taka had spoken out, it would make Hiro appear weak and ultra-dependant on his big brother. 

“Duh! Not only he got a band because he’s Taka brother. Now, he needs to be protected like a baby!” 

Hmm … does that sound good to you? We also need to see things from the haters’ perspective too, you know. Oh, with Papa being a multi-millionaire? Trust me. Hiro would get even less respect if any of his family members had spoken out for him. The bullying might get even worse. 

As for Tomo, anything his family members say would bring unnecessary attention to him. He appeared on TV that one time because of his job at the station. Otherwise, he’s very private. It’s unfair on him if his famous family gives more reasons for the public to scrutinize his life when that’s the last thing he wants. 

4. Being seen publicly as a brave independent fighter would be far more beneficial for Hiro

It worked well for Taka. He only started displaying his bonds with his parents AFTER he had firmly made a name for himself even though they had been on good terms since the early days of OOR. Likewise, Hiro would be less relatable to many fans if he is constantly being taken care of by his more famous and successful family members. Isn’t that the public perception Hiro is still trying hard to break away from? 

Not just the Moriuchi, I have never seen being publicly defended by family members work well for ANY celebrity in the world. It may work for ordinary folks but things work differently for famous people. 

I do support Hiro but I think even his most ardent supporters would agree that he somewhat gives off these “baby” vibes. MFS members themselves seem protective towards him. They let him be mischievious, loud and boisterous with them but they’re always there to hug him when he cries. Therefore, independence from his family would balance that out nicely.

5. Taka made a conscious choice to speak only for himself because he knew any reaction to it would be directed to him and ONLY him

As opposed to Taka speaking out for any of his family members, whom the public might hurl the hate and negative reaction to instead. 

Things just work differently for celebrities. In a way, to minimize the bullying towards their loved ones, staying out of their public battle a lot of times is the better way to go. By not bringing more attention to it. 

Likewise, none of Taka’s family members said anything when Taka had to face a barrage of criticism and angry reactions at the time. The ones who publicly defended him were his friends and peers. Guys like Mah (SiM) and Masato (Coldrain) among some. For celebrities, somehow testimonies from people they have worked with or even strangers they have encountered hold much higher values than family members. 

With their chosen careers, backlash and criticism come with the territory. That’s what their parents want to instill in the two brothers. “You have chosen this path. Learn to deal with it.“

6. Rude fans are rude fans nonetheless

Rude people don’t suddenly become angels just because their idols ask them to. Just look at the backlash against Taka. It was quite brutal. Just like how Hiro got pictures of a woman pooping by his haters, I saw a photo of a “hairy ding dong” for Taka among some, along with truckloads of really scathing words. By his own fans (or should I say “ex-fans"?). If this kind of fans are willing to treat Taka like that just from ONE social media post, then nothing good can come out of it if Taka had said or done anything about Hiro’s haters. The ones who would cheer him would still be the same ones who already support MFS anyway. 

Remember when fans were speculating that OOR’s song Right By Your Side as being dedicated to Hiro? Those who like MFS thought it was a sweet gesture but those who don’t like MFS used it as an excuse to say, “Look! Taka wrote a song for Hiro. Yet he still wants to call Taka his rival. What a low life!”. Yes, I’ve personally seen comments like that. So, see? Whatever Taka does regarding Hiro, mean-spirited people will still find a way to set fire to it.

7. There must be more than meets the eye

Fans went nuts when the brothers wore this pair of pants. I doubt it’s a coincidence that Hiro suddenly is comfortable wearing Taka’s look when he used to be sensitive about being called Taka’s copy before.

But that’s not even something new. in January 2018, Taka posted a photo of himself wearing this Monster’s Inc hoodie at Disneyland. That same month, Hiro was wearing that same Disney hoodie at his 24th birthday party.

Heaven knows what Taka had said to Hiro in private especially after MFS Budokan show 🤔. At the end of the day, they are family and though I also know many families who cut ties from each other, Taka and Hiro clearly are the ones who keep theirs 😉.

2 more cents

I feel that Taka is doing the right thing by staying away from Hiro publicly. Not responding to the negativity surrounding Hiro but still letting fans know that his little brother has his full support.

[scarlettlawyer]

Phantoms and Mirages Fic Commentary, Part 1

So. I’ve basically written up over six thousand words of reaction/commentary of @renegadewangs‘s fanfic Chasing Phantoms, the first instalment in the Phantoms and Mirages series. This post’s commentary covers the first ten chapters, but I still reference parts beyond that excluding Tracking Ghosts, which I still have yet to read (so the commentary itself is spoilery in the sense that it jumps about at times and references stuff beyond the chapter at hand). So please no spoilers regarding the final instalment! Meowzy, I hope this was okay for me to do, please let me know if it’s not! The way I’ve written this up is kind of like a review where I’m talking to you, but other fans are more than welcome to comment on and engage with this post if they wish. I plan to cover the series at least up until the end of Lifting Spirits with these commentary posts.

Sorry for Very Long Post!

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 1

First off, already, in the first few sentences, you present us with something to contrast SO strongly with the changed Bobby we see later – specifically to contrast as much as possible, basically. The difference here between this Bobby and Randy Liberate, it’s, aaaah…! You specifically draw attention to this, in the very beginning of the very first chapter… You didn’t HAVE to make the contrast so stark, but you did, and god damn it hit me hard. XD. NOT GONNA LIE IT MADE ME KINDA “ANGRY” THAT YOU DID THIS LIKE, hahaha. You did this on purpose, didn’t have to make that the content of the first few lines of dialogue.

Man, you know what occurred to me when I was starting to read this fic? In the past there was at least one fic on the PWKM that a friend linked me to that was also a Bobby Lives AU where Bobby was also traumatised – but it was basically one where Bobby had been held captive during that whole year. And I read a little bit of it then basically shoved it aside and couldn’t read it anymore. It was just too off-putting for me, the horror and level of trauma Bobby must have suffered over such a long period of time too much to think about, making me feel ill and sick to my stomach at the time. Now that fic – based on what my friend told me and what little I read of it – focused on Bobby and his slow recovery. The phantom was not really present, they were not a character – they were merely a part of the fic’s background formation, the referred-to and merely alluded to entity whose prime influence over the fic was being the source of – having inflicted Bobby’s trauma, the trauma already having played out.

Now there’s more than one reason I didn’t continue reading that fic, and what they have in common is that they stem from the fact that I like the phantom a lot as a character. Therefore, I want to read fic with a focus on the phantom and with the phantom as an actual character who does stuff in the fic, and that fic did not meet those requirements. SECONDLY… I was not, and until reading Phantoms and Mirages, was never really in the habit of giving Bobby Fulbright as a character much focus. Reading about Bobby shell-shocked and traumatised was a fundamentally uncomfortable experience (as it should be) because naturally it made me feel very very bad for the guy, but also because the fic wanted to (rightfully) position the phantom as an abhorrent and detestable being. Now usually I got no problem with that but the way that fic went about it felt somehow different – it made my insides twist, perhaps because it was shining a spotlight on the phantom’s victim(s) as opposed to the phantom themself. It did not encourage my love for this awful fictional character, it did not give me anything to “fangirl” over, it just made me dislike the phantom in the context of that fic, and I wasn’t about that life.

So back when I’m starting out this fic written by you, where Bobby is actually a player on the chessboard getting a bunch of focus, and I’m like oh, boy. Is it going to be like that again? Is this fic(s) going to make me feel super, duper bad about Bobby Fulbright and by extension, just make me feel sick when thinking about the phantom? Is this series going to encourage me to hate the phantom and have a certain degree of success? I was a little worried.

…Phwwhwhh…. Bahahaha. Oh, past me. If this fic series has a thesis, I can tell you it’s NOT “this person known as the phantom is bad forever and you should hate them.” Can you believe this was ever one of my concerns? : D Hehehehe.

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Oh my god… Oh my god… Reading over this again, it just hit me – the IRONY of that corpse being labelled a “John Doe” and referred to as such… goshdangit Meowzy!!! I know you love your irony an awful lot. Is there no end to your amusing twists and reversals?! XD. I’M TRYING TO THINK, DID THEY ACTUALLY CALL THE CORPSE A JOHN DOE IN TURNABOUT FOR TOMORROW? THAT MIGHT’VE BEEN WHAT GAVE YOU THE BEGINNINGS OF THE SHELLY IDEA… HMMMM.

--

Now as much as I poked fun above about the possibility that this series would make me dislike the phantom, man did this chapter make me feel bad for Bobby Fulbright. It really manages to put you in his shoes. Struck me REALLY heavily just how absolutely mind-breaking it must be for your captive to step into the room and they’re, well, you. To have the spitting image of yourself calmly and coldly hold you at gunpoint… goddamn. That’s some shattering stuff. Honestly even if none of the Shelly death happened, poor Bobby, the guy would already have a lot of baggage that would take a lot of time to work through based on that alone.

The “highly respected nobody” and “devoted your life to justice, but in doing so forgot to pursue close bonds with loved ones” comments and Bobby’s reaction was flippin’ heartbreaking for me. I’ve seen plenty of meta written before supposing about Bobby not having any real close loved ones and how that would have made impersonation easier, and for the people doing that analysis there is always an air of “huh that’s kind of sad/depressing, actually” – a level of acknowledgement there that I would register when reading such analysis, but here in this chapter I’m hit with the absolute full force of it and just how depressing it is when Mr Bobby Fulbright himself is confronted with that analysis (or at least, that’s what it really felt like the first time I read it!). It really hurt to think about! This is what I mean when I say I’m impressed that you gave Bobby Fulbright agency as a character – in fics where he is dead, or in meta passively analysing him, this analysis is basically applied to him post-mortem. He’s an idea, a thing to be dissected, with no concrete shape or form (because we can never know how accurate the phantom’s impersonation was). And in later chapters the text itself lampshades this. Bobby’s later comments about being treated as a martyr of justice by the public struck me as basically how the fandom as a whole tends to treat him, and that may have been intentional on your part. We, the fandom and the players, just like Simon Blackquill, never actually got to meet the real Bobby Fulbright. But here, here? As a character in your fic, Bobby gets to take shape as a concrete entity as opposed to the multitude of possibilities that he is in much of fandom. But importantly, he gets to react. He gets to react to things, and he is the one reacting to this very analysis of himself. As shattering as it is for him, in this chapter he gets to basically hear a solemn takeaway that parts of the fandom have made about his person. And in subsequent chapters, he is given the chance both to respond and overcome it.

It’s kinda funny, you know what these scenes made me think and wish? “Man, it really sucks that Bobby Fulbright died, actually. It really, really sucks. I wish he hadn’t died.” Keep in mind that I was kind of, err… too distracted by the phantom to be truly sad over Bobby when playing the ending of Dual Destinies for the first time. Hmm. Well, this chapter certainly helped me out with feeling the anguish that the average player did over Bobby!

“Wish Bobby didn’t die. It’s not fair! Wish that Bobby was, you know… still alive. Somehow.” Hah! Meowzy, you were just standing there like “don’t worry bro I got you covered.”

When I read this chapter for the first time, I didn’t actually know for certain that it was a Bobby Lives AU. I mean, it was telling me that Bobby Fulbright was gonna be a character, but all signs so far seemed to point to “yeah, he’s a character… in flashbacks.” The fic tags were saying Blackbright, and yet the entire setup seemed to be saying otherwise. It left me kinda confused and wondering how, in what capacity would our man Bobby Fulbright be playing a role. This chapter had made me so certain he was dead, that I actually thought supernatural elements would be involved. Ghost Bobby! : D

And I honestly don’t know why, but for some reason I’d always assumed Phantoms and Mirages as a series was some Fun Wacky AU With Actual Supernatural Elements for the longest time back when I didn’t know anything about it. It’s part of why it took me so long to finally get around to reading it. I blame both the chosen titles involved (why I failed to realise back then that they were not actually meant to be taken literally, seeing as the canon “phantom” character has no supernatural elements, I really don’t know) and the fact that “Bobby Fulbright” and “the phantom” were both listed as characters co-existing in the same fic. My mind just went “does not compute” to the point where it straight-up assumed it mustn’t be canon compliant and/or have fantastical elements. Heh. Joke’s on me.

So yeah, you made me really sad and wish Bobby hadn’t died and he was still alive… in an AU where he lives! Excellent work ;D

Just also want to randomly say again(?) that I can’t believe you managed to write canon compliant Bobby Lives “AU” fic. You took two of the main issues/problems I’ve seen raised by fans; “why did it take a year for Bobby’s body to be found” and “why did the phantom allow that evidence to be discoverable”, and managed to actually solve them in a manner that supports a Bobby Lives “AU”. Brilliant!

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 3

The guard by the man’s side exchanged a meaningful look with his fellows on the other side of the glass as the tirade was still ongoing, though the next few words were in a foreign language. French? Then Cohdopian? He switched back to English soon enough, which didn’t diminish the oddity one bit.

The Phantom was losing it.

Gosh, I can’t emphasise enough how much I loved the language switching here. That’s another thing this series does REALLY well: acknowledging other languages and having characters change between them. An international spy is naturally going to know more than one language, that’s just kind of a given, and I don’t see much meta or fics acknowledge that, so I really do adore how strongly it’s a given in your fics. The way language switching is done and discussed, and just discussion of listening to other languages etc is usually really well done in this series and I always enjoy it.

But I just especially love this particular scene – the phantom inadvertently changing languages because he’s just that far gone is… iconic. I’d almost say it’s kind of a miracle that they were able to stick to the one language throughout their entire breakdown at the end of Dual Destinies, but then again, they only used the faces of “English” speaking characters I guess, flitting between their voices, so it does make sense!

Interesting that, when I read through this chapter for the first time, when the phantom started actually making threats and being like “I’M GOING TO BREAK OUT OF HERE AND YOU WILL PAY, SEE YOU SOON!!” I was, well, sceptical. I was like, hmmm, huuh…? “That doesn’t really, um, make sense, does it? Isn’t that a little out of character for the phantom?” and yet, the narrative itself acknowledges this, through Blackquill, later on when things come to a head. I was awfully foolish to ever doubt the Great Meowzy. :P

Now this time around, of course I know exactly what’s going on here and register precisely how this seemingly odd behaviour slots into the phantom now.

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 4

”Bobby Fulbright.”

Fulbright stiffened at the mention of his own name, just for a few seconds.

OH, HERE WE GO. YEAH. HERE WE GO, HUH???

Yeah, you might have seen/noticed from my posting in the discord chat, but this? This inspired quite the reaction in me. This made me livid, frothing at the mouth. Not in any way towards you, the author or the writing, but towards the character. Mission accomplished via good writing!

Well, I wasn’t angry at first, I don’t think. Initially it was just a kind of, delighted bewilderment when he showed up – I am pretty sure I found it pretty, well, amusing. Funny but in a sense you’re laughing out of shock and bewilderment more than anything. LIKE… IT /IS/ PRETTY FUNNY IN A SUPER WACKY KIND OF WAY… the narrative has kind of said in no uncertain terms over and over again, that this character is dead. And here he is, in the flesh, alive, just like that.

The phantom: lol Bobby Fulbright is dead and I killed him

(Except he’s lying through his teeth.)

Like, YES, we have the narrative undercurrent of Simon’s creeping suspicions leading up to this point – it’s most certainly not something that happens out of nowhere, textually speaking. The groundwork HAS been laid, and alternative explanations have been hinted and implied. (An AU of this AU would be some grimdark angsty thing where Simon follows the “maybe he’s not actually dead though” trail and gets his hopes up only for it to end in despair because nah, he’s really gone dude, and it was all your imagination and yearning for something that will never be, but anyway).

It’s awkwardly funny and funny in an awkward way. This guy presumed dead, another guy claiming to have killed him, the funeral has taken place, THE BODY SUPPOSEDLY IDENTIFIED AND /BURIED/, THE LOCATION OF THE MURDER SUPPOSEDLY IDENTIFIED- People are in mourning.

Bobby: Oh. Hey. Hello, um, yes. I’m alive haha

Part of it is that it’s so sudden too. I kind of love it. He’s just there at the cemetery, Simon chases this random man down and it’s Bobby flippin’ Fulbright.

So at first it’s like

:O [laughing confusedly] what the heck? Bobby, you’re aliiive! : D

Then it’s like

Bobby, how the hell are you alive?

…And what the hell are you doing here?!

Then finally reaches a crescendo in a sort of WAIT, HOW DARE YOU BE ALIVE?!

My standard expectation for a fic scenario like this – “Bobby is alive post-DD” is him being found, hidden away somewhere – him having been forcibly hidden away from the outside world with no way to make contact with it if he wanted to. He needs to be uncovered. He’s certainly not casually hanging out in the background at cemeteries, walking around outside freely, that’s for sure, hahaha.

But no, he was not discovered in some dark cellar, chained to the wall. He was discovered walking around out in the open, nothing really preventing him from making contact with people.

My amused surprise quickly and rapidly gave way to rage.

Rage at this man!!! Rage, as the story progressed and unfolded in the immediate aftermath of this initial scene.

All thoughts of the phantom – the god damn phantom, the entire reason I started reading this fic in the first place – vanished from my mind. Stuff the phantom. Who cares about the phantom?! All of my thoughts and feelings and reactions were all focused on Bobby. For the next small chunk of the fic, the phantom is not relevant, and I couldn’t care less, because he was completely irrelevant to me at that point too, and for me that’s kind of a big accomplishment writing-wise in and of itself.

“You’re a real doll”

“Y o u ‘ r e a r e a l d o l l”

HMMMMMMMMMMM

Me: BOBBY FULBRIGHT ARE YOU OKA

“shooting her a playful. WINK”

UHHHHGNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

I FORGOT HE ACTUALLY SAYS THAT BEFORE THE SMOKING REVEAL but I was already blind rage at that point anyway sdklsdklsd like… Bobby Fulbright just… Existing “freely” and not having contacted the authories or anything… was more than enough to tip me off that something was horribly wrong, that this Fulbright had fundamentally betrayed himself and what he stands for in some capacity. That much was already clear to me – I was essentially infuriated over certain reveals before they even happened. I already Knew, really. Looking back, the “doll” line MIGHT not have been intentional? But basically: I am Very Certain it really doesn’t suit Bobby’s character back before the phantom happened and kinda ruined his life for a while there. When he said that to Olga… It was really Randy Liberate speaking imo. Post-phantom Bobby though, I guess would possibly say that line too. But it was a line that just made me uncomfortable and be like [holds out cross in self-defence] “I Don’t Trust Like That.” (And my friend agreed when I told her about the line hahaha). The main point is it’s a small but stark contrast to Original!Bobby and I was like bro. oh no.

Wait no what am I saying – as far as Phantoms and Mirages has established, Bobby is Very Gay (unless he’s also attracted to women but I don’t recall it being mentioned. Huh!) and also had never acted on his sexuality originally. He just wouldn’t be the type to Wink And Act Like That. Post-Randy-Liberate-Bobby would but probably only in a purely playful and innocent sense, obviously with no actual interest there. I could be wrong but Yeah! Anyway

”What’s this?” He snatched the last item up with one hand to inspect it. “You don’t smoke.”

”Bobby Fulbright didn’t smoke. Randy Liberate took it up last year,” the other man corrected him. “It relieves stress.”

OH MY GOOOOOOD HERE IT IS……………..THE H

YEAH. YEAH YOU PROBABLY SAW ME TALK ABOUT THIS IN DISCORD I GUESS FOR SURE.

CONGRATULATIONS, this just……. The narrative absolutely achieved its goal here. This, I was so… The IMAGE. The image just gave me such a visceral reaction it was just like yeah, yeah, okay. Bobby would Never, but here we are I guess, I was ready to throw hands. Man I was so mad, this man I swear… Once again… The good writing absolutely resulted in Mission Accomplished for what it was going for.

Worth noting that there was a kinda misconception I had here initially – from the information the fics give us later on, it seems that Bobby actually had pretty free reign when it came to shaping who Randy Liberate was? Even if he had some rough guidelines he needed to follow maybe, guy was pretty free to do and be what he wanted. At this point I actually thought that Randy Liberate was already a set personality that Bobby had to fake, and that he Could Not Stray from the mould that was given to him. I figured that Randy Liberate smoked, and when Bobby became him, he’d no real choice in the matter (but also genuinely wanted to just Become this new person so ultimately, he didn’t care, he just did it cause Whatever, if he’s Randy Liberate then smoking is cool now, who cares! Not Bobby Randy!) Guess the “took it up last year” should have tipped me off? But oh well.

…Oh! I also just want to say it’s worth noting that the “Bobby found, was kept prisoner in a cellar for a year”-type scenarios don’t work for me, and they’re part of why previously I was never really able to accept Bobby Lives AUs – I just found it too unrealistic for the phantom to hold Bobby captive for so long, cause it was like, why? For what reason? The scenario you give is so much better imo and I can, yeah, I can buy it! I love Blackquill kind of actively lampshading it though hahaha. “Literally what reason would the phantom keep you alive for? You’re a liability, it would be Too Dangerous for them, makes no sense to me” – Simon Blackquill, anticipating my objections ahead of time and voicing them. God, I love that.

Simon watched as Fulbright slipped a cigarette into his mouth and lit it.

Skjnsdndskjnsd thanks, I hate it! SDKJDKJDKJB OK SORRY I JUST. I just have to put this here for the extra “Oh my God… this is really happening huh… the level of discord shoved into a single sentence.” Simon comments on Fulbright acting nonchalant. You know what else is nonchalant? This sentence. And it’s all the more effective as a result.

I should pull up some of Ye Olde Liveblogging messages I sent to my friend over this, consisting hugely of “[cocks gun] you’re not Bobby. Who are you.” Exactly the point, of course.

(”the two of us” here refers to my friend and I).

Heh, don’t worry, I won’t kill Bobby. Bobby is fantastic. At this point of the fic it was really something though

”[…] it was the only life I could still have. A second chance for a dead man. I was lucky to be given even that much.”

Just like the phantom gets in Lifting Spirits.

WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT THE CASUAL SWEARING TOO OH YM GOOOOD. The “I stopped trusting in justice” I just CAN’T.

Me, screaming: GET OUT!!!! HOW DARE YOU STAND WHERE HE STOOD

Sdlnsdlknsdkl

I always just think about this one AskAceAttorney post where they go “Bobby would never swear. It’s not just.”

The casual marriage reveal too just slays it, hits it out of the park… “Crashing parties” Bobby,,, is gone. He’s not here anymore. I can tell you that. That was Randy.

”Pathetic!” he slammed his fist against the wall behind him, causing both Fulbright and Taka to give a start. “Absolutely pathetic! I’ve yet to decide who is more detestable, you or the Phantom!”

I AM BLACKQUILL, BLACKQUILL IS MEEEEE, at least the first time I read through this, that is. Love when the POV character is on the exact same wavelength reaction-wise.

The newcomer seemed confused for a few seconds, if only because despite their viably different situations, there were two men in the room who looked virtually identical.

IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING THIS IS LITERALLY SO FUNNY… LIKE LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE ABOUT THE SITUATION IS FUNNY BUT THIS ONE SPLIT SECOND? HILARIOUS. I LOVE IT. The image of Shelly just pausing and looking at what he’d just abruptly burst in on is GOLD. Ahahaha. “oh GEEZ which one is the target?!” (that quickly becomes kinda obvious, but the brief confusion is everything to me). Well I suppose it would have been bad news for Bobby if he’d been able to subdue phantom by some miracle and the situation WAS reversed, that’s for sure!

God. Literally everyone in the room at this point is in an awkward situation tho im

Shelly, having come across this weird scene with Two Identical Men: what

The phantom, his almost-murder he was about to commit having been interrupted and his Secret Hideout having been intruded on without warning by an annoyingly persistent assassin that just won’t go away: what

Bobby, being held at gunpoint and About To Be Murdered: what

It’s so great.

Still, fast as he was, the stitched man was faster.

I concur. I always figured that, if at point-blank range or whatever, Shelly would win. Killing is his trade, after all. It’s his specialty. It’s not the phantom’s specialty in the way that it’s Shelly’s specialty – the phantom has his Cool Spy Moves and is good at being a spy but like, that’s just not equal to Shelly and his craft, man. The phantom’s only hopes with Shelly are just to avoid being caught amidst his many identities. Or an unlikely person saving his life.

Oh and it’s super interesting because there’s actually fanart of Shelly and the phantom (fully decked out as Bobby Fulbright) running at each other for a throwdown match, the text of the post just saying “killer vs killer”. I wonder, have you stumbled across this fanart before? Could it have at all served as a kind of inspiration, perhaps? Or maybe your fic actually predates it, and the inspiration was the other way around. Or maybe it’s just an amusing coincidence, and neither influenced the other – there just happens to be fic of a certain piece of fanart and fanart of a certain scene from a fic, this unintentional on everyone’s behalf. I actually think that’s pretty damn cool. Well, no matter what the truth is: neat!

Anyway, there is honestly so much that happens in this series – it is so completely filled to the brim and action-packed that I essentially forgot that Shelly de Killer got killed way back at the start until it became relevant again. In the grand scheme of things, it just feels so… understated, almost. When I read it, I was like “whoa, dude, you just killed off Shelly de Killer. Whoa. What!” And then it promptly got swept away amidst everything else, you know? My mind just had SO MANY other things to focus on.

Well no, it’s not understated – Bobby suffers severe trauma, and he can never truly purge that horrific scene from his mind. BUT what I mean is, from the way the narrative handles it, it becomes more “that thing Bobby was traumatised by and needs counselling for” and “that event that led to a body being confused for Bobby’s own corpse” (I swear I literally kept forgetting that was Shelly, that’s actually Shelly’s corpse). The powerful impact of “SHELLY DE KILLER IS DEAD!!!” got lost somewhere along the way, and then fast forward to Lifting Spirits and Benny shows up and OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

And by the way, the fact that it even becomes relevant again, in the first place? Storytelling and writing at its finest. Like… You didn’t have to make everything come full circle like you did. I had long-dismissed the Shelly incident as, well, a wacky incident where an iconic canon ace attorney character gets killed off and practically FORGOTTEN about it, never actually expecting it to really get expanded upon beyond that, but by hell it sure did. You are awesome. I would never have guessed this one scene would send out shockwaves that would come back full force to haunt the phantom fics later. At that point, he’s no longer the phantom of course, but well, we’ll get there… : ) But it really goes to show that Nothing is really wasted in this series, honest-to-goodness, and that’s such good writing, it’s so cool.

I also forgot that, even back here, way back then, Bobby saved the phantom’s life. He really Did that huh.

ALSO I FEEL LIKE THERE’S LOWKEY IMPLICATIONS THAT THIS IS JUST, an average day in the life of the phantom, and that’s really funny to me too. ‘Cause it kinda IS standard to an extent, I guess.

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 5

”Aura, I have a question. Do you believe it’s right to start a second life when your first one has gone to hell?”

Oh? You mean kinda like… Lex does in the end? :P

Well I suppose this fic series raises that debate early on. XP

”Of course I don’t think it’s right. Who would even get a second life? Cheats like the Phantom, that’s who!”

OH,..

Now obviously the first time reading this I read it in the context of “yeah, bc shedding identities and all” BUT THIS TIME AROUND, IT TAKES ON A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT MEANING… HEH. Actually you know what, the first time reading this I don’t think I even dwelled on it or how it connects to the phantom having so many identities he sheds and takes up, it just seemed like an easily-overlooked “the phantom is awful and a cheat” comment and I’m kinda. Yelling at the resonance of this line now.

Oh, and her bringing the word “cheat” into it, and I think I recall a line in Lifting Spirits at the end where it says they “felt like they were cheating”… heh. Heh.

”Genuine humans only get one life and we have to make the best of it.”

Her exact sentiments in Lifting Spirits… I didn’t even think about how this aspect also comes full circle. A similar kind of question is posed, first about Bobby Fulbright (or rather, “Randy Liberate”) in the beginning, and then about The Man Currently Known As The Phantom in the end. The answers and the outcomes that the fic provides to these rather similar kind of questions are quite different. Aura’s stance never wavers, not even once.

…This fic series’s meta writes itself tbh.

OKAY. ANYWAY I LEGIT TEARED UP A LITTLE READING THE MESSAGES THAT WERE WRITTEN TO BOBBY IN THAT BOOK, NOT GONNA LIE. The feels.

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 6

Anyway yeah this is just so good and well-written, the whole play on Bobby actually needing to fake his old persona for the sake of other people…

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 7

…You know, I just realised, I’d actually been very sceptical of Bobby’s level of proficiency in Borginian, given his job and lack of opportunity to use it previously when he was a detective, the fact that he learned it years ago and thus a lot of the knowledge had probably faded over time (although obviously I know it had the chance to be brought up to speed again over the past year, I just had strong doubts over that being enough). But then I realised that my only experience with knowing another language is Mandarin Chinese, so uhh…. It’s OBVIOUSLY going to be far easier if the other language Bobby knows is, in fact, much closer to English. Huh.

Me, with a smarmy voice: actually Bobby being fluent in Borginian is unrealistic, there’s no way given that he would have had so little opportunity to use Borginian over the years

Me, realising that Borginian would probably be way easier to learn for an English-speaker than Chinese is and therefore my perception is skewered: …OH.

I actually felt so bad for Fulbright’s “wife”, because tsk tsk, just like Simon I too had made an assumption there. But imagine marrying this guy and DURING the divorce proceedings you find out the identity was fake and the circumstances that led to it… that’s so screwed up.

Me now @ past me, thinking about how Domestique already knew: HAHAHA

--

[narrows eyes] oh. Here we are. Our first phantomquill. …………..hmph. I’ve still not the full capacity to confront this – I’m still trying to figure it out for myself.  Nnh. Well, more on… this later, I suppose. It will come up again. ;P

I uh, wonder how long it was until you changed gears on your original plans. Kinda feels like you were still gunning for full-blown one-sided phantomquill at this point, ahaha.

When was the last time anyone had touched him with such kind intentions?

>kind intentions.

Yes, I am sure the intentions are wholly kind, I’m sure there is nothing awful or twisted or empty about them. God damn it, Meowzy. :P

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 8

”Don’t worry, detective. I’ll put you out of your misery now.”

“Ok you helped save my life but I’m still gonna kill you lol.”

--

Whew… So we have the phantom outlining the full extent of Randy Liberate’s exploits. By this point though, I’d basically already dealt with and come to terms with, well, just how much Bobby had changed. I’d already presumed most of the phantom’s bombshells regarding that, but the extent of it still came as a surprise. I also hadn’t expected the text to make it this explicitly clear, and truly highlight it all, underscoring just how much it positions Bobby at the opposite end of a scale compared to how he was before.

Although, it didn’t really affect me too much, since I’d already done my fierce reactions to changed!Bobby towards the start – even if it was even worse than I’d assumed, I’d already mourned TotallyInnocent!Bobby, to the extent that hearing all this resulted in a kind of deadpan “well this may as well be the case, huh” within me – the most impactful fact was that Innocent!Bobby was gone, back towards the start. To what extent he had vanished, how far gone Bobby was, therefore didn’t change that fact, if that makes sense.

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 10

Athena’s “phantom menace” comment really cracked me up. It’s little things like that which are not only funny, but they’re authentic, and I love that.

I really like how the narrative of this series handles names and identities, how in the flashback scene they’re called Randy Liberate and Bobby Fulbright – that’s just how it is. Because those ARE effectively their identities at that point.

…Okay this is random but I’ve needed to go through airports recently and digital fingerprinting was part of the process to get through at one point; it’s a relatively new addition though. Though I still took flights that didn’t involve it, but I just thought, man, Randy Liberate would be screwed, what with having no fingerprints. Although maybe Mr Liberate has a valid reason and there’s an alternative security check he could use – I’m sure the phantom would have thought it through and had everything covered for him. What a great guy! Very helpful, very considerate, amirite? And generous for allowing Randy to use his funds, too! Okay I’m done XD

No actually I’m not – one more joke:

”Don’t lose track of your phone, alright? You never know when I might call to check up on you.”

Awww he really cares uwu uwu uwu how sweet!

”Now Randy, remember to behave yourself. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

THAT was unnecessary, phantom, stuff you. This and the “stress could be the death of you” comment… HMPH.

So this chapter really drills home just how formidable and terrifying the phantom on the loose can really be. A horror movie thriller really could just pick up this whole concept and run with it freely – needing to keep your loved ones in sight at all times, lest they be replaced by an emotionless killer. The constant fears and paranoia and always second-guessing yourself whether such and such loved one is REALLY them or not or someone who would kill you without a second thought. Hmm! I was kinda excited/thrilled at reading of the phantom’s escape, only for it to all come crashing down on me how genuinely scary and awful that is for all of our protagonists and the characters that I actually, you know, care about!

THE SUSPENSE IS REALLY GOOD, WITH TIME PASSING AND NOTHING HAPPENING AND THE QUESTION BEING BEGGED “where is the phantom? What are they up to? What do they plan? They could be lying in wait anywhere. They could be just outside or in another country.” It’s SO GOOD.

At this point, I actually didn’t really… care about the phantom? I felt a kind of disconnect, wherein I had this absolutely hilarious and unfounded in retrospect assumption that the author didn’t really care too much for the phantom as a character, and would rather just focus on Bobby and Simon while the phantom terrorizes them somewhere far off in the background.

Me at the time: don’t get me wrong this fic is pretty fantastic and well-written, it’s just a shame that the phantom’s role is kinda minor I guess

(PFFFFFFF)

Yeah because the phantom will totally never have a prominent or pinnacle role in this series with “phantom” namechecked in the title – suuuure.

Well, to be clearer… The fic was/is still 100% my thing. The narrative was calling him a monster because he kinda is. This is the exact thing I’m usually looking for to read. So why was I feeling weirdly… hurt over that at the time of reading this initially? Well, it just so happens that around that time I’d just reread over the bulk of another phantom fic which in no way excuses the phantom’s crimes, but does portray them rather sympathetically. And it has them faux-getting along with Blackquill except some blurred lines where it becomes genuine getting along. Blackquill uncovers some tragic truths about the phantom’s past and you know, that kind of thing, where Blackquill finds themself caring and they hate that they do but they can’t help it (I’m not talking about Pengy’s fic if that’s what you’re wondering, pff).

So I was still stuck in “sympathetic phantom” mode from that fic where they’d been, well, kinda humanised. Even though I usually love the standard (accurate) “they’re a killer, they’re a monster” take, at that time I was sitting there kinda like “…aww. Right now, I kinda want just a slightly lighter take? Kinda bittersweet, like that fic… I kinda want. MORE.”

I bring this up because it amuses me to no end that I was, on some level feeling complain-y over the phantom a) not getting enough focus and b) not being… humanised enough??? IN THE SAME SERIES WHERE LIFTING SPIRITS LIKE… EXISTS. CAN YOU BELIEVE. I really had No Idea huh, was just completely and utterly clueless. But I never would have thought, never would have guessed in a million years what the endgame was actually going to be. Like, @ past me please have a tiny bit of patience and sit the hell down. You’re reading Chasing Phantoms and feeling lowkey sad because the phantom’s got such a bad rep (that they totally earned btw)? You’re actually assuming the author wants us to only ever see them as a monster? Pff, please. Honey, you’ve got a big storm comin’.

Little did I know that this series ultimately makes the phantom even MORE “friendly” and MORE likable than the other fic that made me crave that...

But yeah ‘cause of that at the time I was kinda like “ok I’m just gonna, tune out the phantom and how they’re an empty monster for a while cause it makes me kinda sad to think about.” LOL. Well Meowzy will leave no stone unturned, rest assured!

It’s the equivalent of having a nice pizza and the pizza’s absolutely great, there’s nothing wrong with it, but you just happen to not be feeling it at that very moment and are kinda craving icecream instead. (But on a normal day, you’re usually 100% down for pizza!)

[Meowzy voice] “not to worry, I brought pizza AND ice cream. The best damn ice cream you’ve ever had. But you have to finish your pizza first!”

[ayearofpike]

Christopher Pike’s Tales of Terror #2

Pocket Books, 1998 207 pages, 5 stories ISBN 0-671-55076-4 LOC: CPB Box no. 1462 vol. 11 OCLC: 40117246 Released December 1, 1998 (via B&N)

Five more short stories, but they’re all kinda longer this time. I knew it was too good to be true. One of these is 75 pages, and the others (with one exception, maybe two) smack of a big idea that he needed to get out but didn’t have the pages to do it justice. It seems like maybe he knows his contract is coming up and that he’s not going to be retained? See also the dedication page: the book is dedicated to the longtime YA editor at Simon & Schuster, because she “has always supported my writing.” I can’t find any evidence of turnover or retirement through a cursory Googling, but this seems very much like a veiled shot at changing leadership that sees new trends in YA and doesn’t feel that Christopher Pike will be a part of it.

The Burning Witch

Pike jumps back into short stories with the longest one in this book, and with a return to Marvin Summer’s side, who he says is “a thrill” to write as, considering Marvin has “ten times the talent” Pike does. Which ... I don’t know about that. Obviously we can’t see anything Marvin has written, and whatever he spurts out is going to be via Pike’s brain anyway, so I guess we just have to imagine it.

But anyway, there’s this old friend from high school who needs Marvin’s help to extricate herself from a cult. Because when you’re in trouble with a cult, of course you go to the horror writer, which now that I say it actually makes a little sense. They go to the ritual, because the old friend has a feeling that they already have her in their magical clutches and to no-show would be worse than sticking it out. Of course Marvin is immediately in over his head, feeling drugged and soporific, unable to stop the three witches in charge from treating his picture of his girlfriend in such a way that she drowns in the hot tub the next day.

By chance, Marvin is writing a novel about a young woman who channels through typing, and slowly comes to realize that a future self is giving her warnings through her present self about some changes attempting to be made to her past self. Yep, we’re back on that whole contiguous timeline thing again. But he came up with the idea after a fan letter suggested telling a past self something, and as the witches want him to bring the manuscript to the next session he’s now suspicious. He breaks into Old Friend’s apartment and learns she’s been using hypnosis to regress into past lives, and then he tracks down the hypnotist and tries a session himself, upon which he suddenly realizes that not only did he and Old Friend have a dalliance sometime in the past, but that sometime was 1692 in Salem, Massachusetts. 

I didn’t mention that Old Friend was known for having terrible scars on her face from a childhood bout with antivaxxer parents smallpox. But when she reappeared in Marvin’s life, the scars were almost gone. She claimed it was plastic surgery a year ago, but everyone he talks to who she’s worked with in the last couple of months noticed a sudden change, right around the time Old Friend said she was sucked in to the cult. Marvin realizes that maybe she started it, solely in order to get back at him for what his past self did to her; i.e. outing her as a witch. But she hasn’t counted on his work on plots to come up with a devious one for himself. See, she was looking for a clue in his manuscript about a way to change the past, one that would make him the witch instead of her. Of course he beat her to the punch and gave a false clue, which swiftly and suddenly reverses her facial healing. And then he pulls out a Molotov cocktail and says they’re both done.

So she panics and runs out to the balcony, where he’s loosened the railing, and she falls off fifteen stories to her death because that’s what happens in a Pike story. But then the woman Marvin thought of as the head witch shows up and offers him a deal to serve the Dark Side or whatever. Marvin says OK and that his payment is to be Shelly alive again. Sure, the witch says, just go to sleep and in the morning she’ll be next to you and neither of you will remember any of this. Of course Marvin feels like he’s smart enough to get out of anything, and goes to take some notes for a “future story” about escaping a deal with the devil ... only he has writer’s block.

The Tomb of Time

This story works on an almost identical conceit as “The Burning Witch,” in that past and future timeline selves are showing up to help Shannon White change the course of the world through positive and negative vibrations. The difference is that they’re physically manifesting, rather than using fireside witch chants to pass information back and forth.

Basically, it’s the last day of school, and Shannon wants Senpai to notice her. She’s encouraged by the random appearances of women who claim to be this dude’s aunt and niece, who say he talks about her a lot and not to tell him because he’d be embarrassed. She’s discouraged by this blonde chick who smooches all over Senpai and writes a phone number and a time on his notebook. Weirdly, immediately after all three of these encounters, there’s an earthquake, and they grow stronger each time, so that after the last one school is finally canceled and Shannon goes home.

The blonde is there, though, and suddenly she realizes that she’s looking in a mirror except for the hair. Blonde Shannon explains that yes, of course I’m you; alien beings of a negative vibration got hold of some of your DNA and sent me to now, where I could affect the world in such a way to make it explode through enhanced negativity. The positive ones are trying to meddle, though, and they also have Shannon’s DNA and are showing up as different-age versions of herself so that she’ll go through with asking Senpai to notice her and create more love and affection in the world, which will reduce the tension that is currently threatening to literally tear it apart.

It’s too late, though: Blonde Shannon has given Senpai Now Shannon’s phone number and is going to shoot her and then answer the phone and be rude, which will cause the earth to blow up. (Now we see why I never called girls in high school ... too much responsibility.) Too bad for her, Good Future Shannon plugged the barrel of the gun before Blonde Shannon ever showed, so it explodes in her hands, and Now Shannon is able to answer the phone and apologize for weirdness and get a date for ice cream, thus saving the world. Yay!

Bamboo

This story is certainly not what we expect from Pike. It’s a lot closer to Sati than any of his other work, in that there’s a narrative about a group of friends trying to find the right path in life with some guidance from a teacher who leaves too soon. It’s more about mood than visceral grossness, and so I think it works. This is my “maybe” caveat for a story that was conceived as a short story — yes, he says he wrote it “in a few hours,” but there’s potentially room here to make this a novel.

We start with three friends that embody the good, the bad, and the neutral, much like the soul concept from The Lost Mind. They go to meet a new man who’s just moved into town, an Indian who had lost his whole family to circumstances of poverty, and who has a story for them about lost souls being trapped in shafts of bamboo and the possibility of saving them through cleansing fire. The kids are eight or so at the beginning of the story, and they stay friends with the old man through high school graduation, at which time he gives them gifts symbolic of hope and protection of their souls. And then he dies, because he’s old.

Two of the friends follow quickly: the bad soul in military action in the Middle East, the good soul (who had married the bad one and was pregnant with his child) of an overdose. She doesn’t die right away, though, and the neutral one (our narrator) understands that hey, her soul is trapped in the bamboo because of the severity of her action in trying to end her life. So he goes to the old man’s house, which by now is overgrown with giant stalks of bamboo, and starts a fire in the yard. And sure enough, by morning she’s gone.

Again, this story is really reliant on mood. It doesn’t feel like there’s a lot here, and I think Pike could have done a whole bunch with who these kids are and how they interact with each other and the rest of the town to make it into something bigger. But what came out is pretty and poetic and reasonably good.

The Thin Line

A disgruntled injured ex-basketball player shows up at his school with guns, intending to kill the coach and the whole team and maybe the cheerleaders, which include his ex-girlfriend. He gets cold feet at the last minute and turns the whole deal into a terrorist situation, for which he steals money and a plane and jumps with it and a parachute and his ex-now-on-again girlfriend. But then she feels upset about the one kid who got shot in the leg and the pilot who died jumping out of the plane, and kills herself by walking in front of a bus. So even if the injured kid won, he has now lost.

I really don’t have a lot to say about school shooting stories, and so I am not going to unpack this any more. However, it is important to note that Pike references the school shootings in Jonesboro, Arkansas and Springfield, Oregon, which seem to have stayed his hand in fleshing this out and making it into a full novel. (Columbine happened five months later, too.) It pisses me off that we had what seemed like a flash point in school shootings and that it felt like enough to mobilize us, but twenty years later we’re still having the same fucking conversation.

The Tears of Teresa

This one is the most on-brand Pike story we’ve seen in years, It’s also the shortest, just seventeen pages. It’s so solid and strong that I hate to sully it by trying to write a recap, because the storytelling is so reliant on the intercuts between past and present that we don’t realize are happening until the last couple of pages.

It starts with a middle-aged couple coming home from a date to find that there is an intruder in their house. He forces them at gunpoint to drive to a house in Las Vegas, and then announces his intent to cripple them, to take away their mobility just like Max. 

Who is Max? This is the past intercutting part. Max was a young man who worked for his father, a successful business owner, but didn’t have any wealth of his own. He’d recently gotten his girlfriend pregnant, and knew that it wasn’t possible to support a child, so he paid for her to have an abortion. She’s torn up about it, but when he offers to take her away for a weekend to help settle her mind, she agrees and asks to go to Vegas. So they get a nice hotel room, and when he steps out on the balcony he unexpectedly gets thrown over it, because Pike.

(That’s a tweet for the thread: “Submitted for your approval, The Kid Who Got Flung Off a Balcony.”)

Max wakes up in the emergency room in pain, and overhears his girlfriend talking with some other dude — no, shit, it’s his BEST FRIEND — about their plot to kill him and give birth to his child and go after his rich dad for money. There’s a baby crying nearby too, obviously in distress, and after Max gains enough consciousness to let the schemers know they’re caught, he dies. But the baby survives, and eighteen years later he is getting Max’s revenge.

Like, fuck yeah. I don’t know that this was worth pushing through fifty pages of a school shooting, but I’m glad I didn’t put the book down before I read this story. We’re back at the blend of the evils that people are capable of with a little bit of supernatural magic that made me love Pike and be excited for this project back at Spellbound in February. I didn’t realize how much I missed it.

Two more Archway Paperbacks, and Pike will be done with a certain era of writing for teenagers. Surprising? Not so much, and it really does feel like he sees the writing on the wall with this collection. Still, we close on a very solid and satisfying note here. If Simon & Schuster wanted to reprint the Fucking With Teresa trilogy (Road to Nowhere, “Revenge,” and “The Tears of Teresa”) it could have been a strong mover. I bet Pike would have no problem with it, seeing as he apparently continues to hold a grudge and keeps naming these victims after her.